Another Point Of View
by moon12345
Summary: A wrong spell causes troubles at the marauders' life. In short, Remus and James switch bodies.. MWPP era SLASH RLSB, also some LEJP
1. Prologue

**AN:**

**umm ok so i'm actually not very good at english, but I tried to translate my story to english... I hope I did good enogh for you to read... it's going to be a long story, with something like 14 chapters, all of them are already written... I hope you'll like it, even if it's not in the original language. please R&R and tell me if I should translate the other chapters as well...**

* * *

_Prologue_

_Remus' point of view_

It all started at a regular spells lesson of the seventh' year students. Our four marauders friends were practicing the last spell they had learned, that was very complicated. The goal was to switch the location of two objects, and this time they practiced on a book and quill pen.

"Moony, can you explain it to me again? I don't think I understand the right way to hold the wand," Begged James for the fifth time that lesson.

Remus sighed, lifted his wand and pointed it exactly between his book and quill pen. "It's not that hard," he said. "You just point your wand between the objects, lift it up, then lower it down and say the spell, 'switch'. There, watch," he lifted his wand, then lowered it down and yelled, "**Switch**!" The book and quill were gone for a second until they showed up, each in the other's place.

James stared at them with wide eyes. "Wow," was all he managed to say.

Meanwhile, in the desk behind them, set Sirius and Peter and practiced the spell as well.

"Switch!" called Peter, but the objects didn't move. "Why can't I do it?" he mumbled in despair.

"I donno…" said Sirius distractedly, "Try again."

"Switch!" called the fat boy again, but nothing happened. "I hate spells lessons."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed with him, "who doesn't?"

"I don't," said Remus from the desk in front of them, and sent them an arrogant grin, "maybe if you'd practiced some more you could have done it."

"But I tried ten times!" Peter insisted, "And it's not working!" he waved his wand while shouting again and again, "Switch! Switch! **Switch**!" At that moment his wand was landed forward, then lifted upward, pointing exactly between James and Remus.

A few things happened at the same time; Remus closed his eyes and felt like he was pulled from behind, James fell from his chair to the floor, Sirius got up and Peter just stared at them and didn't know what to do.

"Remus! James!" called Sirius, and got himself the whole students' attention. "Are you alright?" and that was the last thing Remus heard before he fell to a dip sleep.

* * *

He woke up to the sound of dull voices, and couldn't tell where he was and what had happened.

fHe felt his back pressed to a mattress, and assumed he was at the infirmary or at his dorm at Gryffindor tower. After opening his eyes slowly he noticed a boy with dark hair sitting next to his bad. Everything around him was white. He was in the infirmary.

"Hi," smiled the black haired guy, "how are you feeling?" his voice was familiar, so Remus immediately thought of Sirius, even tough he couldn't really say if it was him or not. He was dazed and his vision was unclear.

"Alright, I think," he mumbled, and almost fell from his bed. He didn't sound like himself! His voice was usually soft and weak, but the voice that just came out of his mouth was deeper. "Something is wrong with my voice," he said, and panicked again, "and I don't see well."

"Oh," said Sirius and sent his hand to the near cupboard, "take this," he put the object in Remus' hand. It felt like glasses.

"What should I do with them?"

Sirius barked loudly, "put them on your eyes, of course!"

Remus did as he was told in confusion, and was surprised to find that with the slasses on he could see clearly. "That's weird…"

Apparently Sirius didn't hear him, because he kept smiling at him and asked, "Do you remember what happened?"

Remus thought for a bit, and then said, "I think so. I remember we've been to class and Wormtail tried to cast the spell but he didn't succeed, and then I felt like something was pulling me from behind really strong. And that's it. That is all I can remember."

Sirius nodded and told him what happened then. It turned out that him and James were taken to the infirmary, and were checked by Madam Pomfrey. Sirius said that she didn't find anything wrong with them.

"I have to go," he said as he finished the story, "DADA's starting in a few minutes. Madam Pomfrey said you should stay here until the end of the day, in case the spell will have some side effects." He got up and started walking toward the door, when he suddenly turned around to look at Remus and said, "Ah, when Moony wakes up, tell him I'll be back later."

And then he was gone, leaving behind him a very confused and terrified Remus.


	2. Chapter 1

**AN:**

**so here is the first chapter. and again- I'm sorry about the grammar mistakes... I did my best to make it readble.. I really hope you'll read it and tell me where I was wrong, cause I really want to get better in english. So... enjoy (:**

* * *

For a few moments Remus just sat there. He stared at the bed beside him, in which laid an unconscious body. It had brown hair that fell on its closed eyes, and its hands were full of scars. Remus found himself looking at himself lying on the infirmary bed.

"Oh, god…" he mumbled quietly, "what the hell had happened?" but he already understood. Peter's spell caused all this, but for some unknown reason he and James didn't switch place, the switched bodies!

He raised his hands in front of his eyes and found that they were healthy and strong. He passed one of his hands trough his hair, that felt thicker than his. He touched his right shoulder in concern, but the familiar biting scar was gone.

He started to feel sick and he watched the sleeping body beside him again. It was as if he was looking at himself in the mirror, only he could see himself with eyes closed.

"James," he said aloud and tried to shake the sleeping boy, praying that it was indeed James in his body. "James, wake up!"

The boy moved a little, and mumbles weakly, "W-what?"

"Wake up, James! It's important!"

Amber eyes opened up slowly, and Remus found himself staring at his own eyes. Not longer than a few seconds passed, before a scream filled the room.

"Ahh! What the hell is happening?!" screamed the boy in Remus' voice. "You- Me- What?!"

Madam Pomfrey almost ran into the room. "What happened?" she demanded.

James ignored her and kept staring at Remus. "You are me! But that's impossible!"

"Remus, calm down please."

But James didn't hear her, or didn't realize she was talking to him. "Why the hell are you looking like me?!"

"I'm not looking like you," Remus answered in a whisper, "I'm inside your body."

At that James froze. "What?"

"I'm in your body, as you are in mine."

"No, I'm not-" started James, but he didn't finish the sentence since he looked at his body and didn't recognize himself, "Oh, god."

"Yeah, that's what I think."

"Are you two ready to tell me what is going on?" Madam Pomfrey's voice made the two boys jump.

"I'm not really sure," Said Remus with James' deep voice, "Me and James switched, somehow. I guess it was because of Peter's wrong spell."

"Damn him," muttered James. Remus looked at him, surprised to hear his own voice sounding that angry. James always got angry so easily.

"Well then, what you're trying to tell me is that you are Remus? Remus Lupin?" she asked and Remus nodded. "And you're James Potter?" she spoke to James, who nodded as well. "You're not playing some joke on me, are you?" she asked suspiciously. As the rest of Hogwarts, she knew all about the pranks the marauders loved to pull.

"No," Remus ensured her, "I promise."

"Well, there is only one thing we can do," Said Madam Pomfrey, "We'll go and talk to Professor Dambledore."

* * *

Remus, James and the school's nurse sat in the Head Master's office. He sat on his chair and stroked his long beard with his hand, while looking at the two students with interest.

"Very interesting," he said in his calm voice. "Nothing like that had ever happened at Hogwarts before."

"What do you think we should do?" asked Madam Pomfrey. "Do you think it can be fixed?"

"Oh, well, of course," replied Professor Dambledore and smiled at them. "An Unspells Potion will do the work."

"But, sir," said Remus and looked at the Head Master in concern, "it takes at least a month to make that kind of potion." They had learned about that potion last year. They never tried to make it, though. It was very complicated and only few wizards succeed to make it.

"You are right, Mr. Lupin," Professor Dambledore nodded, "and unfortunately we don't have that potion in the stock. But don't worry, I will ask Professor Slughorn to make it as soon as possible."

"But it will still take a month until it will be ready," Remus said slowly, "and the next full moon is in three weeks!"

"I'll do whatever I can to make sure the potion will be ready until then. But in case it won't, I'm afraid Mr. Potter would have to spend the full moon's night alone in the shrinking shack."

The color drained from both Remus' and James' faces.

"No…" whispered Remus, and the sickness from before attacked him again. James can't spend the night as a werewolf instead of him! There has to be a way to stop it! "Sir, there has to be another way-"

"Unfortunately that is the only way. It's hard to cancel spells like that one, especially the ones that went wrong."

Remus and James exchanged worried looks.

"Don't worry," said Dambledore in his calming voice, "everything will be alright. But I still have one thing to ask you; don't tell anyone about our little problem. I rather not cause more stress on the students. Try to act as if everything is normal. I will let the other professors know and they will switch your grades until the problem will be solved." The two boys nodded in agreement, and Dambledore smiled at them, "You are free to go."

* * *

"What are we going to do?" asked James in frustration, while he and Remus were making their way back to Gryffindor tower.

"You heard what Dambledore said, we can't do anything. We just have to act normal."

"Normal?!" called James. "How exactly am I supposed to act normal when I'm inside your body?"

"You'll just have to act like me." Remus shrugged.

"Oh, yeah, that would be easy," James glared at him. "If you think I'm going to spend all of my free time at the library, you can forget about it."

"You don't have a choice, Prongs," said Remus and added, "Chocolate frogs," because they arrived to the Fat Lady portrait. The portrait moved and revealed behind him the entrance to the common room. "And remember, Professor Dambledore said we can't tell anyone about this."

"Hey, Remus, James, over here!" they heard a voice called them when they entered the room. Remus noticed Sirius and Peter and dragged his annoyed friend toward them.

"Hey, Padfoot, what's up?" he said, trying to sound like James. It didn't work, though, since Sirius stared at him in confusion.

"Err, alright," he said and turned to look at James, "hey, Moony, how are you?"

James didn't answer, so Remus had to shove his elbow to his friend's side. "Damn! Why the hell was that necessary?"

"He asked you a question," whispered Remus.

"Oh, right." Said James and looked at Sirius, "I'm okay."

Sirius looked extremely confused and opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by Peter.

"Prongs, Moony, I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay," Remus tried to say, but James burst in.

"You better be sorry, you little-"

"Remus, calm down," said Remus in demanding voice. It was weird talking to himself, even though it wasn't really him, but James. The pale boy stared at him for a moment and then relaxed and sat next to Sirius on the red couch. Remus sat next to Peter.

"How did they let you go so early?" asked Sirius.

"Madam Pomfrey said we're fine, and that there aren't any side effects," replied Remus. "So how was Defense against the dark arts?" he continued, trying to change the subject.

"It was alright," said Sirius, still sending suspicious glares at James. "Nothing special happened."

"Professor Kenley told us to write an essay on dragons for Thursday," added Peter.

"Bummer," sighed James in frustration. "I wouldn't be able to finish it. There's a Quidditch practice on Wednesday's night."

Peter and Sirius stared at him. "So what?"

And then Remus realized something; he will have to switch James at the Quidditch team. And he didn't know how to play Quidditch, nor how to fly on a broom.

**AN:**

**please R&R, it's really important to me...(:**


	3. Chapter 2

**chapter 2, there you have it (:**

* * *

"Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no!" mumbled Remus that evening in the dorm. James sat on his bed (sorry, on Remus' bed) while Peter and Sirius were playing chess in the common room.

"Relax," said James, "everything is going to be fine. It's not that bad."

"How can I relax?" called Remus in frustration. "I can't play Quidditch! And I don't know how to fly!"

"But you have to," insisted James. "You can't let Gryffindor lose just because of that."

"Prongs," said Remus, and looked directly at his friend, "just think about it for a second. How can I help the team win if I can't fly? And besides, I'm not fast enough to throw the Quaffle into the hoops."

James grinned at him, then crossed his arms on his chest. "Sure you can fly, and you **are** fast enough. You're me now, remember?"

"Ah, right," said Remus, although he wasn't convince that he could do it. Only the thought of flying high in the air caused him to feel sick.

"Hey, it will be fine," said James in cheerful voice. "At least you don't have to worry about turning into a monster in three weeks." As soon as this sentence left his mouth silence fell on the room. Remus choked and sat heavily on James' bed, which was now his. He stared at his feet, can't say a word.

"I'm sorry," said James eventually, when the silence became unbearable. "I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay," mumbled Remus quietly, still looking at the floor.

"No, it's not okay," said James, and got up. He approached the near bed and sat next to Remus. "I shouldn't have said it." He put his hand on Remus' shoulder. "You know it's not really what I think of you, right?"

Remus just shrugged.

"You're not a monster, Rem."

"Yeah, well, I think I'm going to sleep now." He said and laid on the bed with his back to James, who sighed and got up. There was no point in arguing with Remus when he was like that. Remus heard him going out of the room and closing the door behind him.

* * *

That night Remus couldn't fall asleep. He thought about what had happened that day, and about what would happen from now on. He would have to pretend that he was someone else.

'Not that it's going to be that hard,' he thought. He had experience in hiding the truth. But pretend that he was James? Well, that was a bit more complicated.

James always bragged and stood out, compared to Remus who always tried to keep on low profile. James was a popular Quidditch player, and Remus was a quiet student that loved to read and hated opening up to people.

James wasn't ashamed of his love for Lily Evans and chaste after her since their third year. Remus'd never told anyone about his love for the boy who was his best friend, because he was afraid of rejection. That's right, Remus loved Sirius Black. And he didn't just love him; he was in love with him, ever since their fifth year.

Sirius was everything Remus always loved and wanted. He was always there for him, in the hardest times. He didn't abandon him when he figured out his secret, and stayed by his side even though he knew what Remus was. He could always make him laugh, cheer him up and make him feel better.

The conversations with Sirius were the most interesting conversations in the world, and the silence with him was interesting as well. He felt safe when Sirius was around, and felt emptiness whenever Sirius was away from him.

But he couldn't tell him all that. Tell him meant losing their friendship, and that wasn't something Remus was willing to risk. He didn't have that much friends that he could afford losing one of them.

Remus shook his head. There was no point in thinking about things like that. If he couldn't fall asleep, he may as well use that time for more useful things.

Remus assumed he wouldn't have time to go to the library from now on, since he was James now, and James didn't spend his time at the library. Therefore, if he can't go to the library during the day, he will go at night.

He got out of his bed and opened James' trunk (that was next to his bed) and took James' invisibility clock.

He was just about to get out of the room when he heard someone sitting in the bed behind him.

"Prongs? Is that you? Where are you going?" That was Sirius' voice.

Remus felt his heart pounding. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell the truth, because who would believe that James Potter would get up in the middle of the night to go to the library? But what could he say?

"Err… I can't sleep, so I thought to go for a walk outside," he said eventually, hoping he sounded like James.

Sirius looked at him through the darkness. "Can I come?"

Remus wanted to refuse, but knew it would be a mistake. James wouldn't refuse to such an offer. "Sure, no problem, Padfoot."

After Sirius got dressed they both left the common room and started to walk toward the Great Hall.

"You're acting weird lately, you know?" said Sirius, and Remus lowered his head. He really didn't know what to say to that. He just hoped his behavior wasn't that bad for Sirius to think he wasn't really James.

Sirius' next question confused him even more. "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"Mad?" he asked, confused. "Why would I be mad?"

"I dunno," shrugged Sirius, but Remus had the feeling he did know, just didn't want to say it aloud. For what reason should James be mad at Sirius?

"I'm not mad," he promised, and Sirius smiled at him.

They arrived to the main door, and got out to the grounds, taking off the invisibility clock.

After a few minutes of walking in silence Sirius stopped and turned to Remus. "Can I talk to you, Prongs, about something important?" His looked at him, pleading.

"Um…" mumbled Remus. What should he do? Was it right of him to talk to Sirius as James, and invade their privacy? Remus didn't know about the things Sirius and James talked about when they were alone, and he didn't think it was his right to know.

"Shouldn't you talk about it with Moony? He's better than me in giving advices." That was a lie, of course, but at least he tried.

Sirius shook his head. "I can't talk to Moony about it. It's about him."

At that Remus raised his eyebrow, his eyes widen. Sirius wanted to talk with James about him?

"Um, I'm not sure we should talk about this." He said, although he was very curious about whatever Sirius wanted to say.

"Please, James," this time Sirius was begging, "I don't have anyone else to talk to, and you know it. You're the only one who knows, you're the only one I can trust with this."

"Ah, alright," said Remus. He couldn't refuse that poor look in his friend's silver eyes.

They sat next to the lake and Sirius stared at his hands and started to talk.

"I'm in love." Remus had never saw Sirius looking so lost. "I'm in love and I don't know what to do about it."

Remus felt a sting of jealousy in his chest, but reminded himself that he was playing a role, and that he couldn't show any weakness. He put his hand on his friend's shoulder and smiled at him.

"It's not the end of the world, you know."

"Yes, it is," Sirius buried his face in his hands. "How can you deal with it all the time? How can you bare Evans' rejection?"

"I don't know," said Remus, and he really didn't know. "I guess I just… have to keep trying. I can't let one 'no' stop me from getting what I want." He was pretty impressed with his answer; it resembled James' replies to that kind of questions.

"But doesn't it tear you inside? Doesn't it hurt you to know that she might never be yours?" asked Sirius with trembled voice.

"It does," admitted Remus in James' place. "But she will be mine, you can be sure of that." He said, trying to mimic James' high self esteem.

"Well, **I'm** not sure. And to me it **does** hurt, a lot." And Remus saw the pain in his friend's eyes. He'd never seen Sirius so sad. Who could've made Sirius feel like this, and turn him down?

"Did you think about telling her how you feel?" he asked, even though it was a question that fitted him more than James. Apparently too much not fitting to James, because Sirius stared at him in confusion.

"Her? Telling her how I feel?" he repeated Remus' words.

"Eh, yeah," said Remus, confused as well. "To the girl you love."

"It's not a girl," said Sirius and smiled a little. "I thought we covered that already, Prongs. I told you two weeks ago that I'm gay, remember?"

Remus stared at him with his mouth wide open. For a moment he forgot he was supposed to be James and just stared at Sirius in pure shock. "**What**?"

"Gay, James," said Sirius again. "Fancy blokes, biting pillows, whatever you like to call it."

Remus couldn't say a word. Sirius Black, gay? Sirius Black, the guy that in the last three years dated more girls than any other bloke at Hogwarts, **gay**? Something in that situation seemed very wrong to Remus, but he couldn't help the hope that started filling him.

Then he remembered that he was supposed to be James, who'd apparently known about this for two weeks.

"Oh. Right. So you're in love, you say? And it's not a girl?"

"No, Prongs," said Sirius, sending him a suspicious glare. "It's a bloke."

"Yeah, yeah, of course." Remus tried to cover his shock and tried to remember what they were talking about before. "So, um… why don't you tell that bloke how you feel?"

"I can't, Prongs," Sirius' face fell. "I'm too scared to lose him."

And then, out of nowhere, something clicked in Remus' brain. Sirius was gay. Sirius was in love with a bloke. Sirius was afraid to lose him, which means it had to be someone closed to him. Sirius couldn't talk about this with Remus, because it was about him. Oh, god.

Without thinking Remus leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sirius'. It felt wonderful, he felt whole, and he knew that that was the place he always wanted to be in.

But after a second that lasted forever, he came back to reality when Sirius pushed him away and wiped his mouth in disgust.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he shouted.

'Oh, no,' thought Remus. 'Prongs's going to kill me!'

**please R&R ^^**


	4. Chapter 3

**AN:**

**okay so after I saw my stupid miskate I'll just shut up and let you read the chapter. I can be really stupid sometimes... **

**thanks for RacingShadows for the Beta (:**

**enjoy the chapter (:**

* * *

_James' point of view_

It was an early Saturday morning in the beginning of October. Gryffindor's common room was quiet and empty. Almost.

On one of the red couches sat a pale boy who hold an open book on his knees and read. In fact, he didn't read, but stared at the pages in front of him in boredom. He was tired, but couldn't go back to sleep after he'd already woke up.

Every other morning like that he would've spent on planning his pranks, or bothering his sleeping friends. But that morning was different.

That morning he wasn't himself, but Remus Lupin, and Remus sat in the common room and read early in the morning if he couldn't fall back to sleep. Or at least, that what James assumed.

James didn't know how to feel about this whole situation. On one hand, he was confused and didn't know how to deal with this trouble. He didn't know how to act like Remus, and wasn't sure if people will actually buy it. Remus didn't love to talk about himself and always thought twice before he did something. But for James it wasn't easy to control his instincts, and he didn't know if he was able to stop himself from saying some inappropriate things.

But, on the other hand, that situation had positive sides too. He could see the world from Remus' point of view and learn more about his friend. And besides, it was a great idea for a prank, and a big challenge.

At first he wanted to just tell Sirius and Peter about this, in spite of what Remus had said, but after he thought about it for a while he decided it would be funnier to see if his friends will figure out what was going on.

The sounds of footsteps made him come out of his thoughts and he raised his look from the book. In front of him stood a tall redhead girl in her red nightgown that fitted her hair.

"Hi, Remus," said Lily and sat next to him.

"Oh, hi, Ev- Lily. Good morning," he greeted her with a smile.

"What are you doing down here so early?" she asked and glanced at the book that lay on his lap, closed.

"I couldn't sleep, so I came here to read." He said and put the book on the near table. "And what are you doing here?"

Lily smiled at him, "the same, only I didn't brought a book. Say, do you want to go trough the lists from September? We haven't finished them yet."

James didn't know what she was talking about, but assumed it was something to do with her and Remus' job as being head boy and girl. James'd never asked Remus what they were doing. He knew Lily and Remus were good friends and talked a lot. James used to laugh at his friend for spending that much time on writing stupid lists and talking with the other prefects about the school rules, but inside he felt jealous of his friend for spending so much time with Lily.

Sometimes he feared something might happen between the two, but Remus had promised him they were just friends, and that he would never do something like that to his mate. And James trusted him.

"Ah, okay," he replied to Lily's question, even though he wasn't sure of what he was supposed to do.

"Great, I'll go get them," she said and ran upstairs to the girls' dorm.

James sighed and watched her back. _At least one good thing comes out of it_, he thought to himself, _I get to spend more time with Lily, and maybe I can even show her that I'm not that bad as she thinks._

Lily came back after a few minutes with a package of sheets in her hand.

"There," she said and gave James half of it.

James looked at it and saw that the pages were full with Remus' thin handwriting. He sighed again and tried desperately to change the subject.

"So… are you going to Hogsmeade next weekend?" that was the first topic that jumped to his mind, which made sense after all those times he'd tried to ask her out.

Lily raised her eyebrow. "Yes," she said, though she looked confused. "I think so."

"Who are you going with?"

"I don't know. Potter will probably ask me out, _again_." She muttered.

"And what are you going to say?" he asked in curiosity.

"Eh… _no_." she snorted.

"Oh." James lowered his gaze. He wanted do defend his dignity so badly, but how could he do that when he was supposed to be Remus?

"And whom are you going with?"

"With my friends, I guess. Who else can I go with?" he shrugged.

"Why won't you ask someone out?" Lily asked with interest, though her voice sounded pleading.

James would have loved to answer that question, but Remus didn't have very high self-confidence.

"Who would want to go out with _me_?" It was a reasonable question. Remus wasn't that handsome, with all the scars that decorated his face, and his dull tawny hair. He also never used to open up to people, and didn't have that much friends beside the Marauders and Lily.

"_I_ would go out with you," answered Lily to his rhetorical question. "You know, if you weren't gay."

"Oh, yeah, that's great," James cursed Remus in his head, but then Lily's words kicked in. "Wait, _WHAT_?!"

* * *

"You did_ what_?!" James' scream echoed in the room. He and Remus sat in the back of the library, supposed to be working on the lesson they have missed because of the spell accident.

Remus smiled in embarrassment (which looked weird on James' face). "I kissed him."

"And why, the hell, did you do _that_?" asked James, annoyed.

He didn't like that conversation at all. It wasn't enough that he just found out one of his best friends was gay, now he had to hear he had kissed his other best friend that was gay too? And most important- what will happen to his reputation when people find out he had kissed Sirius Black?! (Okay, so it wasn't really him, but no one knew that except for him and Remus.)

"I didn't mean to do it," said the black haired boy, "it just happened, I forgot I was supposed to be you."

"How can you forget such an amazing thing?" James grinned, but then his face turned serious again. "Why did you even want to kiss him?"

Remus blushed, making James shudder in the sight of the shade of his own face.

"I…" Remus mumbled something unclear that James didn't catch.

"What was that again?"

"I love him, okay?"

James stared at him. "You love him?" he said dumbly.

Remus nodded, blushing even more. James wanted to hit him.

"Okay…" he said slowly. "First, you gotta learn how to control that blush, because to me that would never happen. Secondly, why didn't you ever tell me? It wasn't very pleasant that I had to find out from Lily that you're gay."

Remus looked at him in surprise, "What? She told you?"

"Yes, well, she thought I was you," said James and Remus seemed to understand. "So why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought if you knew, you would tell him and I couldn't take that risk. I didn't want to ruin our friendship."

James nodded. "So what made you go and kiss him _now_?"

"He told me he loves me." The blush returned to his cheeks. "Well, no, he told you, but still…"

"That was very stupid of you." said James. "But that's why you're a Marauder."

Remus laughed. "Yeah, well… I'm sorry."

"It's okay, just don't do it again. Never." Remus nodded. "So what happened next?"

"I ran away."

"Well, you can't let him think that _I'm_ the one who loves him!"

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Remus seemed lost.

"Tell him… Tell him you just wanted to know what it's like, you know, to kiss a guy."

"Oh, yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Remus' smile came back to his lips.

"Well, of course. It's my idea."

For a few moments they both fell in silence, and tried to keep working on their essays.

"Hey, if you kissed Padfoot, can I kiss Lily?"


	5. Chapter 4

**_AN: _**

**I decided that in evry chapter I'll tell you something funny in Hebrew (if I can think of one)... so this chapter is about how you say "stop it" or "quite it" ... you know, when a friend is bothering you and you want him to stop. So in Hebrew you say "DAI!" and it sounds like the word die in English. So if someone like me, who speaks Hebrew, goes to England or to the USA (or any other place where people talk in English) and he wants to tell his friend to stop bothering him, he will say "DAI" and all the people around him will think he tells his friend to die, but he really won't... ha ha.. **

**so anyway...**

**Here's chapter 4 :P**

**enjoy^^**

* * *

_Remus' point of view_

Remus didn't see Sirius that day. He didn't know if it was because he avoided him, or if it was Sirius. Or maybe both of them did. The last time he saw him was when he woke up that morning and Sirius was still asleep in his bed. The room was empty except for them, so Remus harried to get dressed and went down to breakfast before he would have to deal with his sleeping friend.

James cheered him up a little, but he was still afraid and avoided meeting Sirius. Remus just didn't like to talk about these kinds of things. It was hard for him to express himself with words, and he just didn't like that people knew too much about him (even if, technically, it was James and not him this time.)

But despite all this, a worm feeling escorted him that day. Sirius loved him. He hadn't said it literally, but it'd definitely hinted from his words.

Remus didn't know how to deal with this knowledge, which frightened him and made him happy at the same time. He knew he couldn't do anything about it yet, and that from now on he would have to be more careful around Sirius.

He spent most of the day in a back corner of the library, at first with James and then by himself. The essay for Professor Kenley was done long ago, and eventually Remus decided it was time for him to go back to Gryffindor tower. He gathered his things into James' heavy bag and left the library.

It was already late in the afternoon and Remus decided it was time for him and Sirius to talk. It had to happen sooner or later, and now was the later.

But while he was doing his way to Gryffindor's common room he noticed a bright haired guy running towards him, with a smile on his face and a broom in his hand.

"Hey, Moony!" he said, and Remus smiled at him. "I thought I should help you practice, before you'll make a fool out of yourself, what will be pity, since you'll actually make a fool out of _me_." James threw the broom to Remus, who caught it in concern.

"Um…" he mumbled and looked at the broom in his hand. It was long and made out of oak. James had got it to his last birthday from his parents, and was very proud of it. "Oh, alright." He agreed to James' offer, mostly because he didn't want to come to his first practice with the team and not be ready.

They walked together to the Quidditch field, trying not to bump into anyone. James took one of the school's old brooms from the small broom's closet, and also brought the big red ball; the Quaffle. They arrived to the center of the field, each holding his broom.

"Alright," said James, "put the broom down and say, 'up!'"

Remus did as he was told, but the broom didn't move.

"Try again," ordered James, though he sounded much less enthusiastic.

Remus tried, but couldn't do it right.

James stared at the broom in frustration. Remus was nervous too, but not because of his failure. He knew this would happen, exactly like in their first year, so it wasn't a surprise he couldn't do it now. He was afraid of the flight he knew was going to come.

"Well, just grab it." Finally James gave up, and Remus sighed and picked up the broom.

He sat on it, imitating James' moves, while a strange feeling, like excitement, started to fill him.

"On my count," said James and bend down. Remus did the same. "Three, two, one, now!"

Remus kicked his legs in the ground and then felt himself rise up in the air. He looked down but regretted it immediately; everything seemed so small and far away from that high.

James took of too and float in circles around Remus. "Well done!" he yelled, so Remus could hear him despite the strong wind. "You're doing great!" Remus disagreed with him. "Now circle the field once and come back here!"

In spite of his fear Remus diverted his broom and tried to aim it to the end of the field. Slowly he circled the large field, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

James watched and cheered him the whole time.

When he finished he returned to where James was and stabilized himself.

"Great!" called James, getting near him. "Catch the Quaffle and try to throw it to the hoops. I'll play the keeper." He gave Remus the ball, turned around and flew to the hoops in the end of the field.

Remus held the broom in one hand and positioned the Quaffle under his arm, trying not to look down. He flew after James that already took his place by the right hoop.

"Ready?!" roared James, trying to overcome the wind.

Remus nodded, even though he didn't feel ready at all. While trying not to fall he let go of his broom and grasped the Quaffle in both hands. He flew towards James and threw it to the right hoop with all the power he had. James didn't even have to move; The Quaffle missed the hoop and started falling towards the ground.

Remus followed his friend with his gaze, who dived in order to catch the falling ball. Remus glanced at the ground underneath him by mistake. In the same moment his head started to spin and he lost his balance. He tried to grasp the broom again but his glasses dropped from his eyes and his vision became blurred.

"Prongs!" he called. But James was too far away from him, and he felt himself falling. The ground became nearer and nearer, until he lost his consciousness.

* * *

When Remus opened his eyes for the first time he wasn't sure where he was. He looked around him and saw a lot of beds covered in white blankets. He himself laid in one of those beds.

_It's the second time I'm in the infirmary in two days. And it's not even close to the full moon, _he thought while bringing his hands to his eyes to scratched them. Glasses were blocking his way.

Then he remembered everything that had happened since he woke up after the spell lesson on Friday; his conversation with Dumbledore, Sirius' confession, His and James' practice… he remembered he'd fainted when he fell from his broom, but didn't know what had happened since then, and how was he not dead?

He tried to rise up but felt a sharp pain in his right leg. It seemed it'd broken somehow, perhaps from his crash after the fall. He looked for other hurt places in his body but didn't find any.

Just when he was about to call to Madam Pomfrey the door to the infirmary opened and in the entrance stood a tall guy who wore Gryffindor's uniform.

Remus blushed, then remembered James Potter didn't use to blush, so he looked away from the boy and tried to focus on something else.

He heard footsteps getting near him and finally he raised his gaze to meet the grey eyes of Sirius Black that stood next to his bed.

"Hi, Padfoot," he said.

Sirius looked at him and then sat on one of the chairs next to the bed. "James…" he mumbled, "about yesterday…"

Remus got even redder. "Ah, yeah, about that-" he started, but Sirius cut him off.

"I love you, James, but- but not like that."

Remus blinked, staring at his friend. "What?"

Sirius ran his hand through his hair. "I told you yesterday that I'm in love. But it's not you, James."

Remus kept staring at him for a few moments, and then exploded in laughter.

"You thought-" he almost choked, "you thought that I-" it was too much. He didn't even have to try and act like James. Even once he hadn't think Sirius may be in love with James.

After a few minutes of laughing his stomach began to ach and he had to stop and chuckle instead. When he saw Sirius was staring at him in confusion he harried to explain.

"I know you're not in love with me, Padfoot."

This time it was Sirius' turn to blink. "You know?"

"Of course I know."

"Then why… Why, you know… Why did you kiss me?"

Remus tried to remember James' explanation for that question. "I just wanted to know what it's like, to kiss a bloke."

"Oh," Sirius was relieved. "Thanks Merlin. You've no idea, I thought that you-"

"Yeah, well," said Remus. "I'm not." He promised. _Or at least, James is not..._

Sirius smiled at him. He seemed much more comfortable now. "Promise me you'll never try it again."

Remus laughed. He had no doubt James would never kiss Sirius in his free will. "I promise," he said, "That James Potter will never kiss Sirius Black again."

Sirius stared at him as if he just fell from the moon. "O-kay… Sirius Black is very thankful."

Remus smirked, feeling a lot better. Now that the embarrassing part was over, there were few things he needed to find out. "So… It's Remus, right?"

"What about Remus?" asked Sirius, avoiding his eyes.

"He's the one you're in love with, isn't he?" pushed Remus. He already knew the answer, he just wanted to hear Sirius say it.

It took Sirius a few seconds to answer, but eventually he lowered his head and nodded. "You can't tell him," he stated. "Promise me you won't tell him."

"I promise." said Remus. His whole body was shaking. He was sure the huge grin on his face seemed very stupid. Lucky for him, Sirius was still looking at the floor. "Why did you never tell me?"

"I dunno," Sirius shrugged. "I didn't know what your reaction will be. I didn't want it to ruin anything. I've already ruined enough last year, you know, with Snape and the Whomping Willow…"

Remus didn't respond. It took him a long time to get over what Sirius did, and even more time to forgive him. It was hard to think someone he loved so much could betray him that way and revile his secret to his enemy. But eventually he was able to forgive Sirius, and he wasn't ready to open it up so soon.

"Yes," he said, "I understand." He sent Sirius an encouraging smile, knowing that what James would have done. "Let's talk about something else."

Sirius nodded in agreement, finally raising his eyes from the floor. "So, Quidditch accident, eh?" he teased. "That's new."

Remus ran his hand through his hair, like James used to do when he was nervous. "I didn't practice for a long time." It wasn't really a lie. After all, it's been only a month since the beginning of the year, and James didn't have that much practices.

Sirius smirked. "Why did you even went to practice alone? Didn't you say you have a practice in Wednesday?"

"I wasn't alone," said Remus, "I was with-" he stopped, didn't know what to say. He couldn't say he went to practice with Remus. Everyone, including Sirius, knew Remus Lupin did not fly.

But fortunately, Sirius just ignored him. "You're lucky Moony was around to soften your fall."

Remus stared at him. "What? How do you know _that_?" he asked in confusion.

"He told me," Sirius shrugged. So that was James' cover story. It was always good to have friends with good cover stories, especially if you wanted to pull pranks on people.

"Oh, yeah, I'm very lucky." He said with a grin.

"I think I should go." Sirius stretched and got up from his seat. "It's almost curfew, and I have no clue where you put the clock. It wasn't in your trunk when I was looking for it." Remus assumed James put it in his new trunk. "I'll see you tomorrow. I hope Pomfrey will let you out in time for breakfast." He said and while smiling at Remus went out of the infirmary.


	6. Chapter 5

_**AN:**_

Yay chapter 5 is ready(: it turned to be longer that I expected. English makes everything longer haha. There's a sentence when in Hebrew I wrote that Sirius was serious, and in English there's this joke about it... like- **R**: "Prongs, are you serius?" **S**: "No, _I'm_ Sirius!" haha.. well in Hebrew you can't use that joke 'cause the word serious doesn't sound like Sirius at all. In Hebrew you say '_Retsini_'.. yeah, not at all like Sirius. So I had to add something because it made me laugh. nevermind...

About the Hebrew lesson.. :P

You probably want to know how to say 'The Maraureds' in Hebrew... Well, in Hebrew you say, "_Hakundesaim_". HA is like the word 'the', and Kundesaim is Marauders... sort of. Is it me or does evetything sound so much better in English?

Well, after the _bilbul moach _(I really don't know how to say that in English...) Here's chapter 5...

Enjoy(:

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**Chapter 5**

_Remus' point of view_

After two days as James, Remus started to get used to the idea. He talked to people more easily, instead of thinking so much before every sentence he said. He didn't confuse the beds, and when he needed something he went straight to James' trunk, instead of his own.

Dumbledore informed the situation to all the stuff, so Remus could relax in the lessons and stop worrying about James, that couldn't listen to the teachers at all. He spoke to the person who sat next to him (usually it was Sirius) and left Remus do the entire grunt work.

In the first few lessons Remus and James got stared by many of the students that probably wondered why James Potter listened to the Professors instead of act like a fool with his friends, and why Remus Lupin paid no attention to what was going on around him besides Sirius that sat next to him.

Remus didn't want to draw the student's attention, but he knew that there was no chance James could replace him in this matter, and he didn't want to miss any material. He hoped people would stop notice them, and indeed, after a while the other students got tired of talking about it.

The only two students that still didn't understand what was the meaning of their friends' odd behavior, were Sirius and Peter. They kept staring at Remus every time he answered a question right in class, and at James' notebook which was full with scribbles instead of words.

But Remus and James elegantly escaped every one of their friends' questions.

On Wednesday night, while the Gryffindor Quidditch team was having a practice, Remus stayed in the common room, using his injured ankle as an excuse. That was a lie, of course; Madam Pomfrey had fixed his injury immediately, but he didn't want to embarrass himself in public.

The rest of the week passed and Friday came quickly.

Remus sat in James' seat at History of Magic and tried to summarize Professor Bins' words. He suddenly felt someone kicking his leg. He looked aside and saw that Sirius was looking at him.

"What is it, Padfoot?" he whispered.

"I need to talk to you," answered Sirius, whispering as well.

"Is it urgent?" asked Remus and glanced at Professor Bins who kept talking, although nobody listened to him now.

"Yes," said Sirius, "I think I'm going to tell Remus."

Remus froze. He knew exactly what Sirius was talking about, but asked anyway, "Tell him what?"

Sirius peeked over his shoulder, to James and Peter that sat two desks behind them, and then whispered, "That I love him."

Remus glances at James and wondered how he would react if Sirius would come to him and tell him he was in love with him. He would probably freak out. Then he would tell Sirius that there was no chance something could happen between them, even if he was supposed to be Remus. The conclusion; Sirius can't do what he was planning to do.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," he said.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Um…" Remus tried to think of an appropriate reason, but nothing came to his mind. "What if… what if he's not feeling the same way? It might make everything awkward between you two." He brought up Sirius' argument from the first night after the switch.

Sirius seemed to consider his words before he said, "I don't care anymore. I'm sick of waiting; I've waited for so long. He needs to know."

At that moment the bell rang, and the students hurried to get out of the class. Sirius stood up and went trough the door after James and Peter, and Remus hurried to follow him.

He couldn't let Sirius talk to James before he warned him.

"Padfoot!" he called and Sirius turned to look at him.

"What?"

Remus looked around him, trying to find a way to delay him. He saw the back of James, who didn't notice his two friends that stayed behind. Suddenly Remus remembered they had a free period after History of Magic. He turned to Sirius and smiled, "Let's go outside and talk." Sirius seemed confused but nodded and followed him towards the school's grounds.

They went outside and sat under one of the trees, the wind blowing their hair. They both tightened their scarfs around their necks.

"Listen, Sirius," started Remus. He didn't know what to say next. How could he explain his fears to Sirius when he himself didn't know what they were?

Of course he wanted Sirius to confess his love to him, but not when he was stuck in someone else's body.

And what if James turns him down and Sirius wouldn't want to give Remus a second chance? Remus couldn't take that risk.

"I know what you're thinking, Prongs," Sirius' voice made Remus jump out of his thoughts, and only then did he notice he hadn't finish his sentence. "You think I'm doing it too fast, and that I should find out what Remus feels first, or if I even have a chance… But you have to realize that I _did_ try to find out all these. You know Moony. you know he doesn't let anyone know what he really thinks, and that he doesn't show his real feelings."

Remus felt a ping of guilt in his heart. He didn't mean to be that way, but that was just the way he was.

"I thought about it for the whole past week, and I decided I want him to know," Sirius continued. "Even if he doesn't feel like me, even if he thinks it's weird and wrong and unnatural, I want him to know. Because Remus deserves to know that someone loves him. I know he will accept it, even if he would never be able to return my feelings. I know he will accept it because he's Remus, and that's what he does- he accepts people as they are, as he wants people to accept him, as he _deserves_ people to accept him."

A small smile spread across Remus' lips. Sirius was so considerate, and always accepted him as he was, without trying to change anything. That was one of the reasons why Remus loved him so much.

After Sirius' long speech, he turned to look at Remus and waited for his response. But Remus didn't know what to say. He didn't think there was a way he could convince his friend to back off from his decision.

They sat in silence for a while. Sirius gazed at the black lake and Remus gazed at Sirius, until the last one had enough. "Want to help me?"

"How?"

"Role-playing!" announced Sirius with a grin, and Remus raised his eyebrow.

"What?"

"You know, so I can practice before I'll actually have to talk to Moony," Said Sirius, but Remus still looked confused. "You'll be Moony, and I'll be me, and I'll tell you all the things I want to say to him."

Remus stayed confused, but now he was also worried. What was he supposed to do- agree to Sirius' request? Would James agree to it? And if he would, was he supposed to act like Remus, or like James _trying_ to act like Remus? At last, after looking at his friend's sparkling eyes, he decided it was better to just be himself. After a week of being James, it would be nice to act normal around people other than James.

"Alright."

"Great," smiled Sirius and moved to sit more comfortably, "Try to act like Moony." He said, and Remus nodded. Sirius smiled again and cleared his throat. "Moony?"

"Yes, Padfoot?"

"I have something important to tell you."

"Really? What is it? And if it has something to do with some prank you and Prongs did to Snape, I don't want to hear it.

Sirius chuckled. "No, it's not something like that."

"Oh," said Remus and grinned. He was starting to enjoy it. "Well, what is it then?"

"It's something very important," said Sirius, now sounding more serious (no pun intended). "It's something I've wanted to tell you for a really long time now, but I never found the right time or way."

Remus looked at him and felt his heart pounding. "And what is this _something_?"

"I think I-…" began Sirius, but cut himself off, "No, that's not right. Again." He raised his gaze and stared directly into Remus' eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too, Padfoot. You're my best friend," said Remus while blushing. Of course he knew Sirius didn't mean that kind of love, but he thought that if he would hear Sirius say that specific sentence without knowing what he meant, he would've assumed he meant friends' love only.

"No, Remus, I'm _in_ love with you," said Sirius, this time in a clearer voice. "I've been in love with you since fourth year. I've wanted to tell you this for so long, I just didn't know how. I know it might be weird, but that's just how I feel. I didn't choose it, I tried to fight those thoughts at first, but I can't. I can't hold it inside any longer. I don't care if you don't feel same way. I just want you to know how I feel."

Remus didn't say anything and tried to stare at Sirius in shock, because he knew that's how he would have reacted to those words.

Sirius took a few deep breaths and continued with his speech, "I want to be with you, whatever way I can. You'll always be everything to me, even if I'm nothing to you. I want to be there for you when you'll need me, I want to make you happy and I want to make sure you'll never be alone. I want to see you smile, and if you'll cry, I want to wipe your tears and make sure you'll never cry again. I want to help you during the full moons, and I promise I will never let you go through them alone."

Remus stared at him, this time in real shock. He'd never heard Sirius talking so softly. His words made Remus' heart melt. He looked at his friend and smiled a shy smile, "I want all these things too."

Sirius raised his gaze and asked, "You really think that what he'll say?"

And at that exact moment, all the magic that filled the air was gone.

Remus remembered he was James now, and forced a smile. "I don't know."

"I really hope he will. You know, you're pretty good at being Moony."

"Yeah…" Remus didn't know if that was supposed to be a compliment, but smiled anyway. "Well, I have to go," he said and got up. He had to find James and warn him before Sirius would have the chance to talk to him. "Good luck with Moony," he turned around and started doing his way back to the castle.

* * *

Remus searched the castle for at least half an hour, until he finally found James talking to Lily at the door of Spells class, which was their next lesson that day. Remus had noticed the two of them became closed that week.

He approached them quietly, trying to listen to their conversation.

"-really complicated, I don't understand how you did it last week," said Lily.

"Yeah," said James, leaning on the wall in an un-Remus-ish way. "I don't know, I just did."

Remus shook his head and sighed. He hadn't _just did_ it. He'd practiced that spell for hours before he got it right.

He stopped near them and put his hand on James' shoulder.

"Hey, Remus, Lily," he smiled at them, then turned to his friend, "We need to talk."

"Can't it wait? I'm in the middle of a conversation here," James seemed rather annoyed.

"It's urgent."

James sighed in frustration and followed Remus after they'd said goodbye to Lily. They entered an empty corridor.

"So, what is it?" asked James, leaning on the wall again.

"It's Sirius," said Remus. "He wants to confess his love to you."

"What?!" yelled James in panic. "_Why_?"

"He said he wants you to know. Well actually, he wants _me_ to know…"

James waved his hands in the air, "So go and tell him not to do it!"

"I tried!" called Remus, "he won't listen to me! Prongs, please, you have to play along!"

Remus hoped his friend would agree, although he didn't think that's what would happen. And surly, the answered whom he'd expected didn't fail to come.

"Are you mad?! I can't 'play along'! I'm not really you, in case you forgot! I can't date Sirius Black!"

"I know," said Remus and buried his face in his hands, "But what if that's going to be my last chance? What if he'll give up and won't wait for me? What if you'll reject him and he won't listen to me when I'll be back in my body?"

He knew there was no chance James would ever agree to do it, even if he'll get down on his knees and begged. James loved his reputation more than anything, and going out with another guy, Sirius Black or not, would definitely ruin it. Besides, James had been in love with Lily since their first year. What reason did he have to ruin it and agree to what Remus was asking?

That's why Remus was surprised by James' next words.

"Fine, I'll do it."

Remus raised his gaze to look at James in shock. "What?"

"I'll do it," repeated James, grinning at his friend's expression.

"Really? What made you change your mind?"

"I know it's important to you," said James. "Besides, I don't mind doing it, as long as no one else will ever know about this."

Remus wanted to smash him with a hug. He's going to go out with Sirius! Well, not him, but it almost counted. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

James smiled and started to go back to their class, but then stopped and added, "Ah, I'm not going to let him touch me, that you'll have to do. No holding hands, no kissing, and definitely not more than that."

Remus laughed and started walking next to James back to class.


	7. Chapter 6

_AN:_

_Sorry it took me so long, I just have so many exams lately... _

_Thanks for _**the HP and Twilight lover **_for the help with the translation(:_

_Oh and I went through the first chapters and figured I have lots of spelling mistakes (like clock instead of cloak). I'm really sorry about that..and to think I was laughing yestarday on my friend for having spelling mistakes in hebrew (he's from the states). anyway, I'll try to get better at that. if you find any mistakes please tell me (:_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

_**Chapter 6**_

_Remus' point of view_

On Friday night the four Marauders sat at dinner and planned their next prank. They didn't decide what it will be yet, but they knew it will have something to do with the slytherins, especially Snape.

Remus didn't really concentrate on his friends' plans. He was busy thinking about his conversation with James that afternoon. He couldn't believe that finally, after all this time he'd been in love with Sirius, he really had a chance with him. He hoped James wouldn't screw it, though.

Remus looked at the handsome guy in front of him, who talked to James and Peter enthusiastically. He was so beautiful, with the black hair that fell gracefully on his forehead, and his full red lips that captured Remus' attention when Sirius talked. Remus wanted to kiss those lips again, but knew it would take time until that'll happen. After all, it will be at least two weeks until the Unspells potion will be ready.

Suddenly Remus noticed his friends stopped laughing, and when he looked at Sirius' face again he seemed tense. After glancing at Remus for a second, he turned to James who sat next to him.

"Moony," Remus heard him say, "Can I talk to you for a moment, alone?"

James sent Remus a look that said _you're so owe me, _and then smiled at Sirius and nodded. They both got up from their seats and went out of the Great Hole.

Remus' stomach started to ache and he knew he couldn't do it. He had to know what they were talking about, and if James will keep his promise. He gave Peter some lousy excuse and went after his two friends. At first he didn't see anyone, but then he noticed the gate to the grounds was open.

He hurried to get the invisibility cloak out of his bag, covered in it and went out. He and James decided it was best if the cloak stays with him for now, in case Sirius or Peter will want to use it. It'd always been at James', and it was better if it will stay that way.

Remus saw Sirius and James sitting next to a big tree by the lake. It was the place where Remus had kissed Sirius last week. He hurried towards them and stopped behind them, close enough to hear what they said but too far to see their expressions.

"-something important to tell you," he heard Sirius' voice. He sounded much more stress than when he'd talked with Remus a few hours ago.

"Oh, really? What is it?" asked James, sounding nervous as well.

"I wanted to tell you this for a long time, but I never found the right time." Said Sirius, and when James didn't response he continued, "It's hard… I… I'm gay."

There was a short silence between them, and Remus could see the nervous glance Sirius sent to James.

"Oh," he said at least. Remus noticed he'd tried to sound surprised. It sounded a bit pathetic from the side.

"Yeah… I know it's a bit of a surprise, but that's just the way it is…"

"It's okay, Padfoot," said James.

"I'm glad you're okay with it, but that's not all…" Sirius stopped for a second, and then continued with a shaking voice, "I'm in love with you, Moony, for a very long time now. I want to be with you. I want to be there for you when you'll need me. I want to make you happy, and I want to see you smile all the time. I want to be there for you at the full moons and help you, and to make sure you'll never have to go through them alone."

Remus remembered his answer for these things; _I want all these things too, _but he doubted James' answer will be the same.

It took the boy a few minuets to answer, but finally he said in a clear voice, "That's… that's great, Sirius."

"Really?" Sirius sounded surprised and happy, "you don't find this disturbing?"

"No," said James. "I… I feel the same."

"You- you do?"

James nodded.

For a few seconds no one said a word, and Remus started to worry Sirius might suspect something, but then the silence was broke.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that!"

Remus saw Sirius getting close to his friend, and felt a pang of jealousy in his chest, but the pale boy raised his hand to stop Sirius before he had the time to do what he wanted.

"Not yet," said James in a calm voice. "I'm not ready for it yet."

Sirius pulled away and looked at his friend, "Alright, we'll take it slow." He sounded a bit offended, but he still had a grin on his face. "What do you say about coming to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?"

"Sure," said James, and a huge smile spread on Sirius' lips.

"Great! It will be our first date." He called while getting up, offering his hand to James. They both started to get back towards the castle, and Remus hurried to move out of their way. He went behind them until they got to Gryffindor tower, and then waited for half an hour before he entered the common room.

For the whole weekend Remus tried to think of a way to return James a favor for what he'd done for him. Until on Sunday, he finally found an idea.

"I'm going to make Lily agree to go out with you." He announced to James while they sat in the common room, catching up on every new thing in the other's life. Peter was sleeping in the dorm, while Sirius was at detention for a comment he said to Snape about how _it would be lovely to change Snivellus' hair to spaghetti, don'tcha think?_

James seemed skeptical, "I've tried to convince her to go out with me for four years, what makes you think you'll do any better?"

"Well, first of all, I'm not really you, in case you forgot," Remus grinned and ducked to defense himself from the pillow that had been thrown towards him. "Besides, I've been watching you all those years, and I know exactly where you were wrong and why you didn't succeed until now."

"So why didn't you tell me?" asked James angrily.

"You didn't ask," said Remus and ducked again when a second pillow been thrown at him.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Wait and see."

The next day Remus waited quietly for his chance. He knew exactly how to catch Lily's attention, but it wasn't just up to him. During lunch the opportunity finally arrived.

"Hey, Potter," said a teasing voice behind him.

Remus smiled to himself, he knew who this voice was belonged to. He glanced at the Redhead girl that sat with her friends a few seats from him, then turned around in a calm face.

"Yes, Snape?"

"I heard they were going to kick you out of the Gryffindor Quidditch team," Said the slim teen and smiled his unpleasant smile at Remus, "because of this injury in your leg." Remus had made sure the whole school will know that he stopped his practices because his ankle had been injured. Of course, that was a lie.

He glanced to his right and saw Lily staring at what was happening in examining eyes. Bingo.

"You heard wrong." He said calmly and turned back to his plate. In front of him sat two shocked boys and a third who seemed like he was about to knock his head on the table.

"I won't be surprise if you don't even have an injury," Snape kept going, raising his voice so everyone in the Great Hole will hear him. "Madam Pomfrey can cure everything in a second. Your team probably threw you away because you suck at Quidditch."

Many of the students' mouths opened wide. Some of them started to whisper between themselves and wonder if it was true, and some of them were just shocked from Snape's insult. After all, everyone knew James Potter was one of the best, if not _the_ best Quidditch player at Hogwarts.

Remus noticed James was about to get up and hurried to kick his leg under the table. _Don't say anything_, he ordered soundlessly.

"See, Potter? If you don't have anything to say, it must be true then."

Remus turned again, looking at the Snape's arrogant smile. He smiled to himself and got up, "That's a lie, Snape," he said in his calm voice, "and even if it wasn't, I don't think it's in your concern." He saw how Snape's mouth started to get wide in surprise from his reaction. It wasn't a normal James Potter's reaction.

"And now I would be most grateful if you could let me get back to my lunch." He said and sat down back in his chair with a satisfied grin. He started to eat again, sensing how all the eyes were focusing on him. But all he wanted to see was one person's reaction- Lily's.

Like all the other students, she stared at him, not believing to what she had just seen.

Remus could see the shock in her eyes for a second before she turned her back to him and started to eat as well, ignoring him and Snape completely.

Snape sent him one more hostile glare and then walked away while mumbling, "This isn't over, Potter."

During the next week Remus tried to stay away from Lily as possible, and gave her space. He didn't try to act like James and hit on her every minute he saw her, and just smiled at her when their looks had crossed each other's during classes or meals.

"Your hair looks nice today, Lily," he told her while passing by her in his way to Potions on Thursday. Only two more days left before the Hodsmeade trip and Remus wasn't planning to miss the opportunity. He only hoped his plan would work.

When evening arrived Remus decided it was time for the next step in his plan. In the middle of his conversation with his friends about their plans for the next full moon (Remus reminded himself to hurry and find a solution to this issue as soon as possible) he noticed Lily going out of the common room, holding a notebook in one hand and a quill in the other.

"I think I'm going to bed," he told his friends with an apologetic smile, and got up to their room, making sure no one followed him. As soon as he entered the room he ran to his trunk, pulled out the Invisibility cloak and covered himself from head to toes. He returned to the common room quietly and waited for a chance to snick out.

He didn't have to wait long; some third year students entered and Remus hurried to exit the room through the fat lady's portrait.

His legs carried him to the library, where Lily had gone to. He saw her sitting next to one of the tables, reading a thick looking book. He took off the cloak, shoved it to his bag and moved to stand next to Lily.

"Hey, Lily," he said. The redhead girl jumped in surprise, then turned around in her chair and raised her gaze.

"Oh, hey, James," she mumbled distractedly, and it seemed like she realized what she'd just said, since she hurried to correct herself, "Potter."

"Can I sit here?" he asked her politely. He knew James would have sat without asking.

Lily looked surprise, but then said in an annoying voice, "I'm kinda busy," she pointed on her book.

"Maybe I can help you," said Remus with a smile. Lily stared at him.

"Are you serious?"

"Sure," he sat in the chair next to her and looked at the book. It was a copy of 'One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi'. Herbology wasn't his best subject, but he knew a thing or two. "So what is your essay about?"

"The Whomping Willow," said Lily, sending him a suspicious glare.

"You won't find anything on it in this book," said Remus, while chuckling to himself. Oh, the irony. _Damn, I'm really starting to sound like James, even in my head!_

"And how do you know that?"

Remus shrugged, stood up and started to look through the shelves. He arrived to the Herbology section and looked for a certain book he knew had all the information they needed. When he'd arrived to Hogwarts he'd tried to find anything he could on the tree that was supposed to keep the other students from finding out his secret. He found the book and pulled it from the shelf, then got back to Lily.

"There," he gave her the book and sat down. Lily went through the pages until she found the part about the willow, and then raised her gaze to Remus.

"How did you know?"

Remus shrugged again, "I just… knew."

"Are you sure you're James Potter?" asked Lily and put the book down on the table. "You're acting weird lately."

"Eh, yeah…" Remus smiled, nervously, "I guess I just matured."

Lily seemed skeptical. "I don't know about that," she said, but then added, "Although the way you answered Severus a few days ago was more… _mature_ than usual."

"Thanks, I think." He smiled. "Why did you decide to continue with Herbology?"

Lily blushed, "I want to be a healer."

"Really?" asked Remus, amazed. She'd never mentioned it before, and he was sure she told him everything, like he'd told her. Well, almost everything. "I'm sure you'll be very good at it."

Lily blushed again and smiled, "Thanks."

There was a short silence between them. Remus knew what will be the next thing he was going to ask, but wasn't sure if that was the right time. After a few moments of thinking he decided this was a good time as any other time. "Listen, you're… look, I know I'd asked you this a lot of times before, and to all of them you said no… but I would be really glad if… if you could give me a chance, even one little chance. It's our last year and I want to know I used it properly and tried at least, even if it's my last chance." He felt like he's loosing himself, therefore he lowered his head and said quietly, "What I'm trying to ask is, will you go to Hogsmeade with me this Saturday?"

The silence that came after that question was so burdensome and long that Remus was sure the answer would be no, and that he'd failed. That's why he was very surprised when he heard Lily's quiet reply.

"Okay."

Remus stared at her. "Really?"

"Yes," she said and blushed. "I'll give you one little chance."

A huge smile spread across Remus' face. "Great! So I'll meet you on Saturday morning?" he asked, and when Lily nodded his smile got bigger. "Good night," he said happily, waved at her and left the library. It'd been smoother than he'd expected, and he straggled to realize he really did it. _She really said yes, _he thought, _James is going to love me._


	8. Chapter 7

_AN:_

Thanks for all the reviews (:

my exams are finally over and now I have the whole summer vacation to finish translating this.. so, here's chapter 7. Enjoy!

* * *

_**Chapter 7**_

_Remus' point of view_

"You've got three guesses to find out who agreed to go out with me tomorrow," announced Remus to his three marauders friends. They were sitting in the common room in the late afternoon, and he felt as it was a great opportunity to tell them the news.

Peter seemed confused, Sirius looked at him in curiosity and James looked doubtful. "Who?" asked James.

"The whole point of the word guesses is that you'll _guess_, and not that I'll tell you," grinned Remus.

"Alison Roberts?" asked Peter. Remus shook his head. "Jessica Cooper?"

"No."

"Katelyn Grin-" Peter was cut by a hit on his head. "Ow! What was that for?"

Sirius rolled his eyes before turning to Remus, "Evans?"

Remus chuckled at the sight of the three mouths that got wide open when he nodded his answer. The shocked look James sent him was the most hilarious of them all.

Sirius shook his head, "I don't believe you, Prongs. Evans wouldn't agree to date you even if you were the last two people on earth. And that's a specific quote of her."

"I guess she changed her mind," Remus smiled at him, "Because last night she definitely agreed. And you should probably get used to calling her Lily."

Sirius smiled as well. "Wayda go, Prongs. It's really about bloody time. Are you alright, Moony?" he asked when he noticed the look on James' face that still seemed shocked.

James swallowed and nodded, then looked at Remus with wide eyes. "Are you serious?"

"As serious as Sirius' name is Padfoot." He was about to say _as serious as my name is Moony_, but then remembered that wasn't quite true at the moment.

James looked at him unbelievingly. "How the hell did you make her say yes?"

"A true wizard never tells his secrets," laughed Remus. He noticed some spark of restraint emotion in his friend's eyes.

"What's wrong, Moony, jealous?" asked Sirius, wrapping his arm around James' shoulder. "Don't forget you too have a date this weekend, with me."

Each of the Marauders' reaction to his words was different. Peter stared, opened mouth, at James and Sirius, James shifted awkwardly in order to get away from Sirius, and Remus looked at the two, trying to erase any single of jealousy from his face.

"Move your hand, Padfoot," said James and shoved Sirius' hand from his shoulder. "I don't want everyone to know about this. I told you I want to take things slow."

"Alright, alright," Sirius sounded disturbed. "Although Prongs already knows, and I don't think we should hide things from Peter. You don't care, Wormtail, do you?"

Peter nodded, his mouth still open, "o-of course not."

"See?" said Sirius.

"Alright," said James, "but the fact that they both know does not mean all of Gryffindor needs to know." He looked around them, making sure no one in the common room heard them.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You can be really paranoid some-" before he finished his sentence his eyes got bigger and a smile spread across his face, "Hey, I have an idea!" he called happily and turned to look at Remus. "Let's go on a double date!"

"What?" asked Remus and James at the same time.

"You and me," replied Sirius and pointed towards James and then at himself, "And Prongs and Evans," he continued, pointing at Remus. "Think about it, it can be awesome!"

At first Remus thought it was a bad idea, and even got a bit offended that Sirius wanted to share their first date with another couple. However, in second thought he realized that way he could supervise his friends' actions and to know if something happens between them that shouldn't be happening. Otherwise James will kill him.

"Alright," he said, and smiled at Sirius and James, "we'll go on a double date."

"What do you say, Moony?" asked Sirius and James shrugged in response.

"I don't really care."

The three of them smiled to each other and got up to continue with their previous business. Only Peter stayed to sit alone on the couch, leaning his head on his hands. "And once again I'm being left alone."

* * *

James, Sirius and Remus woke up earlier than usual on Saturday morning. They put on their winter cloaks and got down to the common room, where they sat on one of the couched and waited for Lily. Sirius sat next to James, which made Remus sat on James' other side.

"If you hadn't made Lily agree, you would so owe me for this," gritted James quietly, and Remus sighed. It was going to be a very long day.

After half an hour Lily finally showed up, dressed in her winter gown as well, and a red-golden scarf covered her neck.

"Hey, James," she said shyly, and Remus stood up to join her.

"Good morning, Lily," he said, happy that she'd agreed to the double date idea; he didn't know how he would have made it alone. It was his first date ever, and with a girl, no less. It wasn't going to be easy.

"So, shall we?" asked Sirius and broke the silence. He stood up and offered his hand to James, who grabbed it unwillingly.

They went down to the Great Hall, and from there they took off towards Hogsmeade.

"Where do you want to go?" asked Lily when they entered the village.

Remus shrugged, "Where do_ you_ want to go?"

"Madame Puddifoot's?" she suggested with a smile. Remus chuckled at the sight of disgust on his friends' faces.

"How about the three broomsticks?" offered James, and the rest nodded.

They entered the pub and sat at a table at the back. When a short waitress approached them Sirius ordered butterbears for James and himself, and Remus imitated him and ordered Lily a drink as well.

They drank their drinks in silence. Remus couldn't think of any topics to talk about, nor could he focus on anything when he saw Sirius' hand finding its way to James' shoulder.

Lily noticed as well, and a smile spread on her face. "For how long have the two of you been together?"

"We're not-" began James, only to be interrupted by Sirius.

"I asked him out only a week ago," he said and smiled, "Although I've wanted to do it for a long time now." He looked at James, and Remus could see the love in his eyes. It made a warm feeling form in his stomach.

"I think it's wonderful!" said Lily. "For a while now I've been telling Remus that he needs to find someone for himself. I'm glad he did, finally." She smiled at James happily, and he sent her a week smile. "What do _you_ think?" asked Lily, turning to Remus.

"I agree," he replied. Sirius smiled at him, and James just glared at him, but then smiled as well.

"You know, you're not as bad as I thought. And if Remus likes you then maybe I can try too." James' smile grew even more to Lily's words. "As long as you won't bug me so much like you usually do," she said to Remus, who hold up his arms in defense and sent her an innocent smile.

"Me?"

The others laughed.

They continued to talk, and after a while Remus started enjoying so much he forgot they were even on a double date. He had a great time to just hang out with his three friends, and for a moment he could stop to worry so much.

They talked about many things, like Quidditch and subjects at school that all of them liked.

"The essay about the dragons for Professor Kenley was really interesting," said Lily enthusiastically. "I had so much things to write, that I wasn't sure what to put in and what not."

"Hey, do you remember what happened the day Kenley gave us that essay?" asked Sirius and turned to look at James. "When we learned the switch spell, and only you could make it right, and then Peter tried too but he accidently made you and Prongs to faint. Remember?"

Remus and James exchanged a look and grinned. "Yes," said James. "We definitely remember."

At that moment the door burst open and Peter walked in, trying to clear his way towards them.

"Prongs, Moony," he said when he'd finally approached them, "Professor McGonagall told me to call you urgently. Professor Dumbledore wants to talk to you."

Remus and James exchanged glances again, this time worried and confused.

* * *

"Did you want to see us, Professor?" asked Remus as he and James entered the Headmaster's office. They sat on the two chairs next to his desk, looking at Dumbledore.

"Indeed, Mr. Lupin," the Headmaster replied. "Before I'll get to the reason why I called you, I would like to hear, how are you dealing with the situation of the switch so far?"

"Um, alright, I think," said James, shrugging, "we didn't have any problems we couldn't fix."

"I'm glad," said Dumbledore, looking at the two boys from behind his glasses. "But unfortunately, this might not go for long."

Remus and James exchanges confused glances. "What are you talking about, sir?" asked Remus.

"The Unspells potion Professor Slughorn is making at this moment won't be ready until next week. I assume you can guess what it means."

Remus' heart dropped to the floor. There was only one thing he could think about; James will have to spend the full moon's night as a werewolf, instead of Remus.


	9. Chapter 8

**_Chapter 8_**

_Remus' point of view_

Remus felt exactly like the last time he had went out of Dumbledore's office, two weeks ago. He was confused, frustrated and he had no idea of what he was going to do. The most annoying thing was that there was noting he _could_ do. But how can he sit and relax while James was going to turn into a monster instead of him?

James, who walked beside him when they made their way to the Great Hall, seemed to be thinking about the same things. He seemed stressed, and the amount of times he'd ran his hand through his hair was higher than usual. Only this time the tawny hair came into place and didn't mess up like James' real hair had.

"Prongs." James turned to look at him and put his hand back in its place next to his body. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

Remus sighed and lowered his gaze. "Because you'll have to go through all of this because of me."

"What are you talking about?" said James, laughing a laugh that sounded a little fake. "It's not your fault. Besides, I think it will be cool to finally understand what you're going through every month."

Remus stared at him. "Trust me; the _last_ thing it's going to be is cool."

James shrugged and then smiled at his friend. "At least this time you won't have to suffer."

"Yes, but _you_ will. And more than I have to suffer usually, since I have three animals to help me."

"Why would this month be any different?"

Remus sent him a confused glare, "I don't know how to turn into a stag."

At that moment they'd arrived to the Great Hall, where they found Sirius and Peter waiting for them. Sirius seemed pretty upset about the interruption on his date.

"Hey, Moony, Prongs," he greeted them when they sat down next to their friends. "So, what did Dumbledore want to talk to you about?"

"Nothing important," replied James, "he wants Moo- er, _me_ to help Prongs with Potions, because apparently he's failing this subject."

Sirius turned his gaze to Remus and smirked, "You fail in Potions?"

Remus shrugged, "Yeah, I guess I'm just stupid," he jumped in his seat when he felt James' foot kicking him under the table.

* * *

Later that day, while Peter and Sirius got ready for bed, James pulled Remus towards the door. "We'll be right back," he said in reply to the questioning look Sirius had shot him. Remus just smiled his apologize and followed James to the common room, which was empty in that late hour.

The two sat in one of the corners, hidden to the eyes of anyone who might decide to get down to the common room in the middle of the night.

"Prongs, what happened?" asked Remus in concern. He didn't know why James'd wanted to talk to him, but guessed it had something to do with their conversation after their talk with Dumbledore. They hadn't an opportunity to talk earlier that day.

"I've been thinking," started James with a serious expression, "and I think we should all be at the shack this month."

Remus raised an eyebrow at him, "I already told you, I don't know how to transform to a stag."

James just grinned, "So I'll teach you."

"You can't be serious." Said Remus but James nodded.

"I am."

"James, in case you don't remember, it took you three years until you finally succeeded to turn into animals! And do you expect me to do it in a week? I may be smart, but not _that_ smart!"

"I know, moony, but think about it-"

"Think about what?"

"As I'm going to transform to a wolf next week, because I'm in your body, so you must be able to turn into the stag, because you're in my body!"

Remus stared at him. "James, being a werewolf is a curse. You can't change it and you can't control it. You turn into a wolf once a month whether you like it or not. It's nothing like being an animagus."

James shook his head, "I know it's not the same. That's not what I meant. But think about it, Moony. My body, which you're in right now, is already used to the transformations. It will be so much easier for you to learn how to do that than we had three years ago. I'm sure you can do it."

Remus took James' advice and thought about it for a while. What James had said made sense, but the power to become an animal was in the wizard himself, and not in his body. Or was it the same thing? Could he learn to do it in such a short time? And even if he could, did he even want to spend the night of the full moon in the shrinking shack, when he finally has an opportunity to spend it as a human?

He knew the answer to the last question; yes. Yes, he wanted to spend that night in the shack with James even if it meant he would have to deal with his fear from the wolf. James had done it for him for so many months, and now he had the chance to return the favor.

"Alright," he said, "I'll try. But you'll have to help me, because I won't be able to do it alone."

* * *

During the past week before the full moon Remus and James practiced in the room of requirements. The magic was already in James' body even when Remus was the one who was presented in it.

Every time Remus tried to fulfill James' orders he felt waves of energy running through his body. He didn't know what to do with them, but tried with all the power he had to change.

"Try, Moony! I know you can! Focus!"

"I'm trying!" called Remus, frustrated. He closed his eyes and tried to block any noise that could distract him. During a few more moments he tried to relax and to think of nothing and then, when he felt ready he started to imagine the stag in his head. He imagined the weight of the antlers on his head, and his two hands turning into the two front legs of the animal.

Suddenly the weight became real and he could feel his body changing and stretching. Compared to his monthly transformation to the wolf, this changing didn't hurt at all. He only felt a tingle of magic washing him and after a few moments he felt himself standing on four legs. He had a tiny tail behind him which he could move freely.

"Remus!" he heard James' voice full with excitement. "You did it!" Remus opened his eyes and looked around him. His point of view was higher than usual and when he looked at James he revealed his teeth in an attempt to form a smile.

James chuckled at him. "Yeah, I know." H e said and ran his hand in Remus' furry head. "It's hard to express feeling while in an animal's body."

Remus tried to move his legs and was surprised to find out that it wasn't as hard as he thought. He walked in the room on the stag's long legs and made a few spins around James in order to get used to the feeling.

"Do you think you could face the wolf in this form?" asked James and Remus moved his head up and down, feeling the antlers moving with him. "Good. In order to turn back you need to go over the same thing in your head, and focus. Imagine your body getting back to its human form."

Remus did as he was told and felt his body changing again. He stood up on his two legs and fixed his clothes that returned to their place out of nowhere. He'd always wondered how the clothed returned to their original state after the animagus was changing. When he turned to a wolf, if he'd worn clothed during the change, the next morning he would have find them ripped on the floor.

"I can't believe I did it," he said to James who sent him a huge smile.

"I told you you will."

Remus nodded. "Now all we need to do is to wait for the full moon tomorrow. We're going to be fine."

James smiled at him, "yeah, we'll be fine."

* * *

He stood in a small room with wooden walls. In one of them was a tiny square window, where the only light in the room came from; the full moon. Only a few furnitures stood in the room, all of them broken, crushed and full with scratches. The wooden door that was the opposite way from the window was locked. The walls were covered in layers of blood which had been sprayed at them over the last six years.

In the further corner from him were two animals, one big black and threatening and the other one tiny and scared. There was still an echo of a scream in the air from a few minutes before. In the near corner from him, next to the cracking bed stood a monstery figure with sharp teeth and narrowed golden eyes.

The figure turned to look at him, and that was the first time Remus had ever seen his wolf-self that not from those threatening eyes.

An utter horror paralyzed him and he couldn't move a muscle. Within a second he returned to be that little and innocent kid who'd sneaked out after curfew into the forest and met the horrible monster that'd ruined his life.

The werewolf came closed, although its eyes seemed to glitter in joy. Remus tired to get away on his four legs, but was terrified to find out that he had only two legs now, and he couldn't feel the weight of the antlers on his head.

Within a second the glitter in the yellow eyes changed, and now they showed hunger and lust. The monster exposed its teeth attacked Remus who still didn't catch what was going on. He felt stings of nails in his arms where the werewolf grasped him, and he desperately tried to get away, but it was already too late. A severe pain sliced his body when the werewolf' teeth imbedded in his shoulder and he started to feel dazed.

"No!" a distant human scream sounded from the other side of the room, but Remus couldn't recognize the voice. He stared at the bleeding figure on the floor, then looked at his nails which were stained with blood. Nothing seemed important anymore when he felt the sweet taste of human blood on his tongue. He licked his lips and turned to the dark hair that lay next to his feet.

Something snapped in Remus when he remembered he'd promised himself to never bite any of his friends, or anyone at all. He started to shake, but he wasn't sure anymore if he was the twitching boy on the cold floor, his throat hurts from yelling and his shoulder burning in an indescribable pain, or if he was the monster that shook from excitement and enjoyed the pleasure of the satisfying taste in its mouth.

For a second he turned his head and saw momentarily two young men that stood paralyzed to the spot and a disgusted look on their faces, before the teeth closed on the prey again.

Slowly Remus started to feel his body getting colder as opposed to the hot blood that streamed from his mouth. He was about to bite a third time when a strong yell distracted him.

"Prongs! Prongs, wake up!"


	10. Chapter 9

_AN:_

_Okay so here's chapter 9 (: pay close attention, cause this chapter is from Sirius' POV. i know it's a bit confusing, but every time he talks about James, remember that it's actually Remus, and visa versa. Oh and the last part of this chapter is from James' POV (:_

_Enjoy! _

* * *

**_Chapter 9_**

_Sirius' point of view_

Familiar voices of someone struggling with his blanket woke Sirius up in the middle of the night, and he sat slowly in his bed. He was used to wake up like that, and no matter how it had disturbed his sleeping, he'd never complained. Remus usually had nightmares, especially at that time of the month, in the few days before the full moon.

At those nights, when he'd woken up by his friend's cries, Sirius was the one to get to Remus' bed, wake him gently and comfort him until he fell asleep again. He didn't know how it had affected James and Peter, but they'd never said anything, which made him assume they'd never woken up.

So, that night, when Sirius heard those familiar voices he got up and went quietly towards Remus' bed, trying not to wake anyone else. But already half way there he noticed something was different. The voices didn't come from Remus' bed, but from James'.

Sirius stopped and stared at the squeaking bed for a few seconds, but then decided; when a friend is in need, then a friend is in need. He turned around and approached James' bed.

When he got there he saw his friend struggling with his blanket, mumbling things Sirius did not understand. Sirius sighed and sat next to the sleeping boy, resting his hand on his shoulder.

"James…" he whispered, "wake up."

James didn't answer and just turned to the other side, his back to Sirius.

"Prongs!" whispered Sirius into James' ear. "Prongs, wake up!"

The other boy jumped and made Sirius to jump with him with fright. His brown eyes opened widely and stared at Sirius in fear he'd never seen in them before. For a few moments no one said a word, Sirius looked at James and James looked at Sirius while breathing heavily.

"Take this," whispered Sirius at last, when the silence became unbearable, and passed James his glasses. James who still seemed confused nodded and put them on his nose.

After casting silencing charm around the bed Sirius turned back to James, looking at him with a concerned expression. "Are you alright?"

James nodded again and fixed the blanket around him in a convenient way, "just a dream." He said quietly.

"A dream?" Sirius asked with a doubt, "seemed more like a nightmare."

James blushed and lowered his gaze to his legs. Even though Sirius had seen James blush before (only in the last couple of weeks, when he thought about it) it was still odd and uncharacteristic.

But Sirius chose to ignore it and not to mention it, at least not now when James seemed so vulnerable.

"Since when do _you_ have nightmares? It's usually Moony who wakes me up in the middle of the night because of them." he tried to make it sound like a joke, but James' gaze was lowered even more in embarrassment so Sirius hurried to add, "Never mind. So what was it about?"

James mumbled something and when Sirius repeated his question he said in a clearer voice, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You sure?" James nodded once in his head. This behavior was so not James. Since when had he woken up from a nightmare? Since when had he kept things from Sirius? But nothing could be compared to that kiss by the lake a couple of weeks ago. Something weird had been going on with James, and Sirius planned to find out what it was.

They sat in silence for another couple of minutes, and just when Sirius was about to get back to his bed, James started talking.

"Listen, Padfoot, I'm not… I'm not coming tomorrow."

Sirius sent him a confused look, "not coming where?"

"To the shack, I'm not coming."

It took Sirius a few seconds to realize what James had meant but when he finally got it he was very thankful for the silencing charm he'd put on before. "WHAT?" he called, "Why not?"

James flinched, "I can't."

"Can't? What do you mean, you can't? Of course you can! We've been helping Moony for over a year now! Why all of the sudden you _can't_?"

"I- I just can't…" James repeated, making Sirius even angrier. Ever since they'd learned to become animagi there hadn't been one full moon in which James, Peter and himself hadn't been there for Remus (unless you count the Snape incident and Sirius preferred not to count it). So why suddenly now James's telling him he can't come?

"You have to come!" he declared, "You know I can't go without you, I'm not strong enough to deal with him alone. And we promised, Prongs! We promised Moony we'll always be there!"

James looked full with shame when he lifted his gaze to Sirius' and said quietly, "I know, Sirius, but you don't understand. I just can't."

Sirius stood up and moved away from the bed, "why not?"

James looked away and said nothing.

"Tell me why!" Sirius couldn't keep himself from yelling, he was so angry. "Just tell me why the hell you can't come!"

James didn't reply, and Sirius stared at him unbelievingly. James had always told him everything, why now he wasn't ready to tell him?

"What's going on with you, James?" he called desperately. "This whole past month you're acting not like yourself! You kiss me out of nowhere, you fall from your broom, you blush every other minute and you barley tell me what's going on! And now you're telling me you're not coming tomorrow? Something's wrong here, and I'm going to find out what it is!"

But James still refused to meet Sirius' eyes, and didn't respond to his accusations at all.

"You know what?" Sirius almost screamed, "Fine! Don't come! But if something happens to Moony tomorrow, it will be on your conscience!" at the end of the sentence he turned his back to James, returned to his bed and fell on it with rage.

Something was off, no doubt about that. James wouldn't just decide he didn't want to come with no reason. But Sirius couldn't find this reason. He couldn't think of any reason at all to the change in James in the past month.

He became quiet, didn't share anything with Sirius, stopped interrupting in lessons and instead he wrote every word that came out of the teachers' mouth. He stopped practice in Quidditch, although before he'd never missed even one practice. He didn't come up with new ideas for a prank in two weeks. He even barley spoke about Lily, and James _always_ talked about Lily, all the fucking time!

He didn't know what was going on, but he decided to figure it out before he fell to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

On the next morning Sirius decided to ignore James. He thought that in that way he could make him regret his decision. But James didn't change his mind and ignored Sirius as well.

Sirius decided he should ask Remus if he knew what was going on. Remus and James had spent a lot of time together lately and maybe James considered Remus more helpful than Sirius.

"Say, do you know what's wrong with Prongs lately?" he asked him when they sat together in the common room, while putting him arm around the werewolf's shoulder.

Remus tensed and looked around them with concern, like he was afraid someone would see them hugging like that. But the common room was almost empty, everyone were spending their day in the library or out by the lake, like any other Saturday. Peter sat in the couch near them and worked on some essay. James was nowhere to be seen. Sirius wasn't sure where he was, but didn't bother to find out.

"What's supposed to be wrong with him?" Remus asked and Sirius could hear curiosity in his voice.

"He's been acting weird, don't ya think?"

"No, I don't," said Remus and moved Sirius' hand off of his shoulder. "I told you I don't want people to know about us yet."

"But there's no one here but Peter," the raven haired insisted, "and he already knows anyway."

"It doesn't matter, just don't do that." Remus said in a dead serious tone.

Sirius decided it wasn't worth it to mess with him in the day before the full moon, and got back to the original topic he wanted to talk about.

"So back to James," he said, "he's been acting weird and I want to know why. Do you know he's planning on ditching us tonight?"

"Yeah, I know."

Sirius stared at him. _So James does tell Remus things._ "Do you know why he's not coming?"

Remus shook his head, but Sirius heard him whispering to himself something that sounded like, _"But I can guess…"_

He chose to ignore it. "Did you try to convince him to come?"

"No, I don't think he'll listen to me." Remus answered and turned to look at the sky outside.

Sirius stared at him. On the days before the full moon Remus had been always stressed, nervous and anxious. He'd been always let Sirius comfort him and used to read all day in order to distract himself. But the Remus who sat next to him right then seemed almost bored.

Just like James, Remus had been acting strange in the past last month. He'd stopped reading, stopped listening in class and talked to Lily every time he saw her. He'd fought with Snape, although usually he was trying to avoid those fights, and he'd talked to Sirius enthusiastically about new pranks.

At first, when he'd just noticed this change, Sirius thought it'd been for the best, because Remus' confident had grew bigger and he'd finally shared others with his thoughts. But as the time passed, Sirius started to realize that Remus had just stopped acting like himself, and it became too much.

When he'd told Remus he loved him, after all that time he'd wanted to do it but was afraid of rejection, Remus had said he felt the same way, and Sirius was happy. But after they'd been together for a few days, Remus hadn't showed any signs of his love. Every time Sirius had touched him he had flinched away, and he'd spent most of his time with Lily, claiming they had to work hard as head boy and girl.

Sirius loved Remus with all his heart, but the things he loved about him had started to disappear one after the other, and he couldn't understand why.

_Maybe I've made a mistake when I asked Remus to go out with me, _He thought. _Maybe he said_ _yes just to not ruin our friendship, and he doesn't really feel the same way I do._

He sighed, and while a decision forming in his head, he turned to the werewolf at his side, "Why did you agree to go out with me?"

Remus seemed surprised and ran his head through his hair nervously. "I already told you," he said, "I l-love you." He didn't sound very convincing.

"You sure?" Sirius asked with doubt.

"Sure," said Remus, "why wouldn't I bee sure?"

"I dunno, Moony, but you haven't been acting like yourself ever since we started going out. I know it's been just two weeks, but you've changed in those two weeks, and I miss the Remus you used to be."

Remus looked at him, worried. "I haven't changed," he said, but now he didn't sound that much confident in himself.

"Oh, really?" asked Sirius. "When was the last time you read a book?"

Remus shifted awkwardly in his seat.

"See? You don't even remember. I'm sorry, Moony, but I think- I think we should break up." It took a lot out of him to actually say it, and he felt like it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to say, even more than confessing his love to that boy. But at the same time he knew it was the right thing to do. He preferred the old Remus as a friend than this stranger who sat next to him as a lover.

"Are you serious?" Remus asked, and when Sirius looked at him he thought he noticed guilt in his wide eyes.

He nodded and got up, knowing it was the right time to end this conversation. "I'm sorry," he said again, "and I'm sorry that we won't be there with you tonight."

"Wait a second, Padfoot, I-" started Remus, but Sirius hurried to cut him.

"Goodbye, Moony." He hugged him and hurried to walk away, turning quickly to hide his new tears. He went out of the room, thought he could still hear Remus calling after him.

* * *

_James' point of view_

James sat on the unstable bed in the shrinking shack. Everything around him was dark, the door and the windows locked. He removed his cloak and hid it under the loose board on the floor, like Remus had always used to do, then sat back on the bed.

Sentences from his earlier conversation with Sirius echoed in his head, and he was sorry for not being able to keep his promise to Remus to go out with Sirius until they would switch back. But he knew he couldn't do anything to stop it from happening, and now all he'd left to do was wait till morning and fix the damage he'd done.

At the moment he had more important things to worry about. He was about to spend the night as a wolf, the very same wolf he'd been hanging out with as a stag every full moon for more than a year. He didn't know how he would feel, or if he would feel something at all. He knew the change itself hurt, but he didn't know what was going to happen after.

He wasn't scared, he was a Gryffindor, and true Gryffindors weren't scared of anything. If Remus could go through this every month, then so could he. And if Remus woke up every time in the end and got back to normal, then so would he.

He was sorry Remus had decided not to come, but he could understand him. When he finally had an opportunity to spend the full moon night as human, why would he want to spend it with the wolf he hated so much?

A sudden twitch went through him and he felt his body begin to shake. The transformation had begun. Hair started to grow on his legs and arms, and his sight became sharper. A yelp escaped his mouth then an excruciating pain sliced his body and he felt all of his bones breaking one after the other. He screamed like he'd never screamed before, praying for the pain to go away, to just go away and let him die in peace. But the pain went on and on and on and just when he thought he couldn't hold on anymore he heard a growl from the back of his throat and his mind stopped thinking.


	11. Chapter 10

_AN:_

_Thank you guys for reviewing (: I'm trying to finish translating it before the end of the summer because in the begining of september i won't be home except for the weedends and then I won't have time to write... _

_So anyways, here's chapter 10. Enjoy (:_

* * *

**_Chapter 10_**

_Remus' point of view_

The first thing Remus did the next morning after he woke up was to run to the infirmary. He had a strong headache, mostly because he couldn't sleep at the previous night because of nightmares, but also because he was very concern.

He entered the infirmary and approached the only taken bed in the room. The sight in front of him was the most horrible thing he'd ever seen.

The sheets that used to be white were soaked with blood. On them laid a thin body, wearing hospital pyjamas pants, which were also stained in red. His stomach was covered with a thick bandage, thought you could still see parts of the deep cut it tried to hide. His chest which was bare and exposed was full of ugly scratches and wounds which started to turn blue. So were his hands which lay at the sides of his body.

Remus approached the bed, even though his mind screamed at his to run away as fast as he can. He lifted his gaze to meet the pale face of the boy, his own face. They were barely recognizable, red stains covered almost every part of the soft but wounded skin.

He felt like he was going to throw up. The sight was unbearable and he nearly fell when his head started to get dizzy. Luckily for him, a pair of hands wrapped behind him and prevented him from slipping to the floor.

"Remus," he recognized Madam Pomfrey's voice, who was the one to catch him. Remus expected her to continue her sentence, but she remained silence.

"What- what happened?" he asked, his voice shaking. "Why does he look like that? My condition was never that bad…"

"It's quite long," the nurse replied and helped him stabilize himself on his legs again. "Let's get into my office and I'll explain everything there."

Remus nodded and followed her to her office, being carful not to peek in the unconscious boy again. Remus had been to that office only once before, when he'd first spoken to the school nurse in the beginning of his first year. He still remembered the fear he'd felt when he'd known that so many people knew his secret, even if all the teachers had swore not to tell anybody. This time his fear was much worse.

Madam Pomfrey sat at a small desk and instructed him to sit on the chair in front of her. Remus sat, trying to stop his legs from shaking.

"Please, tell me he's going to be alright," he begged, his voice weak and choked.

"Unfortunately, I can't know that yet." Remus felt as if his heart had sunk to the floor. "His state is very bad, and I can't even tell if he's going to make it through next week."

Remus' eyes winded in horror and he was barley able to bring himself to ask his next question, "but why?"

Madam Pomfrey sighed and looked out the window in her little office. The sky was still a bit dark, though the sun had started to shine an hour ago.

Remus watched her with tension, not knowing what to do with himself. His eyes started to ache and he knew it won't be long until he could stop himself from crying.

Finally, after some long minutes which seemed Remus like forever, Madam Pomfrey returned to look at him and said quietly, "I'm not sure. I've never seen a drastic case like that. He has two unusually deep cuts, in his head and stomach, and they're both very serious. I'm doing the best I can, but you already know how hard it is to take care of werewolf's wounds."

Remus nodded and felt a lamp in his throat when the tears started to fall from his eyes.

"I don't know why it happened," continued the nurse, "but according to my theory, it happened because the wolf sensed a strange presence in its body, which made him get crazier than usual. It that's indeed the case, it would be extremely hard to take care of him, because your body still hasn't got used to his presence, therefore he won't start to heal himself like after your usual transformations."

"B-but there's a w-way to help him, right?" Remus asked while panic started to take over him. "There must be a way, there's always a way!"

Madam Pomfrey seemed to be considering something with herself, until she finally replied, "Yes, there's a way." Remus let out a sigh of relief, but then the nurse continued to speak, "The only way to help him is if you'll get back to your body and he'll get back to his. If my theory is right, as soon as you'll be back in your body, it will recognize you and start to heal itself."

Thick silence filled the room when she finished her speech. Remus understood the meaning of the way Madam Pomfrey had just described, but decided not to dwell over it at the moment, there were more important things to think about.

"So what you're saying is that the only way is if we switch back?" he asked, and when the nurse nodded he continued, "But Professor Slaghorn's potion will only be ready in a week!"

"That's true," Madam Pomfrey agreed.

Remus buried his wet face in his hands, "But… but you said he might not make it 'till next week…"

"I'm sorry, Remus."

Remus didn't want to hear anymore. He stood up, excused himself and went out of the room. His head felt dizzy again and now he could barely see where he was going because of the tears in his eyes. He moved slowly in the wide passageway between the hospitals beds, and stopped next to the bed in which laid his friend. But to his surprise, he wasn't the only one.

On one of the chairs next to the bed sat a tall and black haired teen, holding one of the wounded boy's hands in his. When he heard Remus' footsteps he raised his head and their eyes met. Remus found himself staring into the grey eyes of Sirius Black.

On his cheeks were still remains of tears and his eyes showed rage which replaced the sadness they'd contained before.

"You!" he called, stood up and pointed straight at Remus. "This is all your fault!"

Remus eyes winded and he stepped back in fear. He hadn't expected to bump into Sirius that early. He hoped he could relax first, before he would have to face his accusing friend.

"Sirius…" he mumbled but Sirius didn't listen. He shot him a murderous glare and started to walk towards him in quick steps.

Remus freaked. He'd never seen Sirius that angry. Something inside him told him it would be a good idea to start running now, so he turned around and left the infirmary. He heard Sirius behind him and knew he couldn't run forever, but if he could at least find a place to hide… he thought about running to the library, but remembered it was still close at this hour. The idea of getting back to the dorm was erased from his mind immediately, since he didn't want to wake up any of his sleeping Gryffindor friends.

He let his legs decide and found himself in the Great Hall. Luckily for him the front door of the castle was open and he ran through it into to school grounds. Maybe he could hide behind Hagrid's hut, if he could only get there in time… but the footsteps behind him got closer until Remus felt a hand pulling him and turning him around.

"Sirius, I-" he started but before he could finish his sentence a strong punch hit him right in his face and he lost his balance. He fell backwards while Sirius attacked him, hitting every part of him he could reach.

"Your fault-" punch, "-Remus is lying there-" punch, "-covered in blood-" punch, "-hardly breathing-" punch, "-and it's all-" punch, "-your-" punch, "-Fault!"

His glasses fell to the ground and Remus heard a smashing sound when Sirius stepped on them. Now he could barely see something and even if he would have tried to stop the guy bending over him he couldn't succeed.

"Padfoot, please…" he mumbled in a week voice. He felt Sirius leaving him and retreating backwards.

A few moments passed while no one moved. Remus wasn't sure why Sirius had stopped, but didn't complain. He laid on the damp grass, shivering from the cold, his whole body hurting.

Everything was quiet around him, until he heard Sirius saying, "_Reparo_," and after a moment his glasses were back on his nose and he could see again.

He looked at Sirius in worry and saw him staring back at him in with shock expression, probably from what he'd just done.

Remus tried to sit and wipe the blood from his face.

"James-" began Sirius back Remus hurried to interrupt.

"It's alright," he said. He didn't need to hear Sirius' apologies, not when the real James was lying in the infirmary, walking on the thin line between life and death.

Sirius nodded and after another awkward silence he straightened his look at Remus for the first time since they were at the hospital wing and asked, "You went out of Madam Pomfrey's office… What did she say?"

"His state is bad, more than ever," Remus replied quietly.

"Why?"

He tried to think how to answer this question without reveling the truth but couldn't. After a few long seconds he just said, "She doesn't know."

"_I_ know why," Sirius said and Remus heard bitter in his voice, "It's because we weren't with him last night! We could have helped him and now look what happened!"

"I'm sorry," Remus looked down at his feet. He knew it wasn't really his fault, but felt guilty nevertheless. After all, if he agreed to go as Prongs maybe all of this wouldn't have happened. Maybe the reason why James' state was so bad wasn't because the wolf had felt a strange presence in his body, like Madam Pomfrey claimed.


	12. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11**_

_Remus' point of view_

The next few days were long and frustrating for Remus. At first he tried to count them, to know how much time left until the end of the week, but everything mixed in his head and he couldn't concentrate on anything.

During classes he sat next to Peter. He didn't bother listening to the professors, nothing they said was important enough to dedicate his attention to. All he did was staring at nothing and thinking about James.

Many students approached him in order to find out what had happened to poor Remus Lupin who'd been lying in the hospital wing for nearly a week, but he never knew how to answer.

Eventually Professor McGonagall announced one morning at breakfast that Remus was very sick and that was why no one was allowed to enter the infirmary and visit him, for no one to catch his illness.

Remus himself didn't return to the infirmary again. He couldn't see his friend in that state, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that it was the right thing to do. The sight of the face full with cuts and the torn stomach were too much for him. Moreover, Sirius settled himself in there in every opportunity he got, and Remus knew Sirius didn't want to see him.

To say that Sirius ignored him would be a disruption of the truth. Sirius ignored the whole world, focusing only on James who lay unconscious in the infirmary without any improvement in his state.

Just like Remus, he stared at the board during every lesson, and at the moment the bell rang he would run from the room straight to sit by James' bed.

Remus didn't hear him breathing even a word out of his mouth since their conversation in the grounds after the full moon. He wanted to talk with him, but didn't know what to say. After all, the person Sirius loved could die at any moment, and he blamed it on himself. _Not only on himself, _thought Remus, _on me as well._

When he didn't think about James, his and Sirius' last conversation played itself again and again in his head. The way Sirius had looked at him that morning, when he raised his eyes which were full of tears, and made a hole in Remus' brain, tearing him from the inside. Sirius' gaze had been cold, leaking with hatred. Remus had never seen that look in his friend's eyes, not even towards Snape. Damn, even not towards his family! And Sirius _hated _his family.

Did Sirius really hate him that much? That thought didn't leave him in peace. Sirius was a loving and caring person, as much as he tried to hide it in his sarcastic tone and his jokes. So how come all he showed now was hostility and hatred? Remus was James, and James was Sirius best friend. What could have made him act that way?

The answer was clear; Moony was dying. Or at least, that's what Sirius was thinking.

That behavior frightened Remus. He knew that under the coldness mask Sirius was suffering, and his suffer was only getting stronger when he pushed everyone out.

If Sirius was acting like that when 'Moony's' condition was only bad, and it wasn't even Remus, what will happen when he'll die for real?

Remus didn't develop expectations. He knew what would happen if the potion will be ready on time; James will get back to his body and will be fine, and Remus will be the one lying in the infirmary in the bad state of his body. Even though Madam Pomfrey had said he will start to heal, Remus doubted it. Ever since what Sirius had said he could not but agree with the reasonable logic. The wolf had been used to the company of the three animals that prevented it from hurting itself. Even in vacations they would join him to ease the pain. With them out of the picture the wolf had turned wilder and hurt itself more than in the past. Remus couldn't ignore the connection between the two.

If asked seven years ago if he wanted to die he would probably said he didn't really care what will happen to him, but now… he had friends, the three best friends he could ever asked for. He had love, even though he hadn't had time to do much about it. He didn't want to leave all these, he didn't want to die.

But he knew he had to do it. James lay in the infirmary because of him, because of his body, and because of the wolf that was part of him even while not in his body. He couldn't let James die just because of his fear. If Remus won't return to his body James won't have any chance of recovering, but if he will, at least there will be a little chance they both will survive.

"Mr. Potter," Remus shook himself out of his thoughts when he heard Professor Slughorn calling him. It was during Potion class at the end of the week and Remus failed to concentrate again. "Please come and see me after class."

"Fine, Professor," he replied quietly. He didn't know what he'd done for Slughorn to want to see him, but he didn't care. No punishment or detention could change what was about to happen.

At the end of class Remus got up from his seat and approached the Professor's desk, picking for a moment at Sirius who hurried to get out of the room. Remus didn't need more than one guess to figure where he went.

"You wanted to see me, Professor?"

"Indeed, dear boy," said Slughorn. He sat in his chair behind the desk and instructed Remus to sit in front of him. Remus did as he was told. "No worries, you're not in trouble," he said when he saw Remus' worried expression, but he did not realize that was not the reason why Remus was so worried. "I wanted to inform you that the Potion is ready."

Remus gasped in surprise. He did not expect that. "It… it's ready?"

Slughorn nodded. "I passed it to Poppy this morning, so all you have to do is go to her and drink it."

Remus nodded and swallowed. "T-thank you, sir." He got up and turned to exit the room, hurrying in the direction of the infirmary. Although he'd thought he'll be relived to know James was going to be okay, his throat felt tight and his body was shaking. His time was over, he had to decide now what he was going to do, and this decision was going to change his life.

The first thing he saw when he entered the hospital wing was Sirius, who sat in his back to Remus next to James' bed. He stroked the tawny hair of the boy and with his other hand held James'.

"Remus, please…" Remus heard him whispering. His voice shook was full of despair. "Please, wake up. I need you. I don't know what to do without you, Moony." There was a short silence and then Sirius continued, unaware of Remus presence behind him. "You'll be okay, right? You have to be. You can't leave me like that, not after what I told you the last time we talked. I'm sorry about that. I wish I hadn't said all those things, I wish I could go back and tell you how much I love you. There are so many things I didn't tell you…"

Something cracked in Remus' brain at the sound of those words. What is that was the last time he would ever see Sirius? If he'll die now, Sirius would never know how much he loved him, and how he was the most important person in his life. He would never know how much Remus was thankful for everything Sirius had ever done for him; he hadn't abandon him when he'd found out about his furry little problem, he had always been there for him even in the hardest times, he'd always helped him during full moons and after.

If Remus won't tell him now, maybe he won't have a chance anymore. But as he was about to open his mouth and announce his presence, a new thought starched him.

What if when Sirius find out about the true identity of the one lying on the bed beside him, and won't let Remus drink the potion? It was the only way to save James, but Remus wasn't sure Sirius will see the things that way. He couldn't take the risk, he had to save James. It had all been his fault, and if he had an option of saving his friend, he would do it even if it cost him his own life.

"Mr. Potter," a feminine voice made the two boys jump in surprise and raise their heads. Madam Pomfrey stood in the further corner of the room, near the entrance of her office, and looked straight at Remus. Sirius turned around and for the first time noticed the boy who stood with his hand still on the door's handle. Sirius hurried to wipe the tears out of his eyes.

"James," he said quietly.

"Hello, Sirius," Remus said and for a second their eyes met, until Sirius looked away. Remus sighed and turned to look at Madam Pomfrey.

Her glare was meaningful but when she opened her mouth to speak, she turned to Sirius. "Mr. Black, I have to ask you to leave the Hospital Wing right now. You have a class to attend to, and you don't want to be late."

Sirius looked at her furiously. "I have time 'till the next lesson."

"Mr. Black," she said again, and pointed with her long finger at the door.

"No! Why James doesn't have to-"

"Mr. Potter has a permission to be here," the nurse said in a calm voice, "he's free from the rest of the day. But you need to go to class. You can return later."

Sirius sent Remus a murderous glare, but nodded and got up. Remus hurried to move out of his way when he left the room in quick steps.

As soon as the door closed behind him Madam Pomfrey approached a large closet where she used to store all her potions, and took out a little bottle full with green liquid. "The potion is ready," she said to Remus who stood by her side and stared at the bottle.

"I- I know," he said, "Professor Slughorn told me."

A comforting hand was placed on his shoulder. "I know it's hard, Remus," she said, her voice softening.

"I don't-" he began, but stopped himself. The sentence 'I don't want to die' sounded childish and stupid in his head. Instead he sighed and said, "There are so many things I didn't have a chance to do."

"You'll have plenty of time to do all those things after you get back to your body," the nurse said, but Remus could hear the doubt in her voice. "You'll be fine."

Remus nodded. "Do I need to drink it now?"

"You can, but you can also wait a little longer. I owled your father and told him what happened, and he said he could be here within two hours. You can wait him."

Warn feeling started spreading in him. His dad was the only family he had since his mother had died three years ago. She had been injured because of a car accident, and there wasn't much to do to save her, since she had been a muggle.

John Lupin had been affected from it very hard. He separated himself from all his friends (those who had still been his friends after hearing of his son's 'sickness') and barely showed up for work.

But when Remus would go home for vacations, his dad had a smile on his face and he'd been acting as if nothing had happened. Remus knew this behavior had been forced, but he admired his father for at least trying for him.

A sting of guilt sliced his heart when he thought about what he might do to his father in his death. It will break him even more, after losing not only his wife but also his only son.

Tears filled his eyes and his body started to shake. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to hurt people who were close to him. But he didn't have a choice.

"I-I'll wait."

Madam Pomfrey smiled at him, "do you rather wait here or in your dorm at Gryffindor tower?"

"I think I'll wait outside. I have some things left to do."

"Very well." She put the potion back in the closet. "Get back here in exactly two hours, I think your father will be here by then."

Remus nodded. "Poppy?" any other day he wouldn't dare calling her by her first name, but this time he felt the need to do so.

"Yes, Remus?" she asked.

Remus opened his mouth but didn't know what to say. How could he say all he felt in one sentence? He wanted her to know how much everything she'd done for him meant to him. All the days she took care of him after the full moon, how she helped him heal his wounds, as well as the wounds which couldn't be seen by human eyes.

"Thank you," he finally said. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, dear" she smiled her calming smile at him, and squeezed his shoulder with her hand. "You're welcome."


	13. Chapter 12

_AN:_

_First of all, thanks for all the reviews (: it paid off cause I translated this chapter really fast._

_For those of you who didn't understand; Remus isn't sure that when he'll get back to his body he'll get better. He doesn't know if what Pomfrey said is true... so he thinks he may die instead of James._

_This Chapter is a bit confusing again, cause it's from Sirius POV again, so pay attention when Sirius say James it's actually Remus and when he say Remus it's James. There are two flashbacks scenes from the first chapters, but it's a bit different so don't skip it. _

_There's only one more chapter left, and then I'll need to have a thought with myself about whether to keep writing the sequel or not._

_Enjoy(:_

* * *

_**Capter 12**_

_Sirius' point of view_

Sirius sat under the Marauder's favorite tree in the school grounds, hugging his knees and leaning his head on them. All he could think about was Remus. He lay in the Hospital Wing, unconscious, for a week. It had been the longest and most horrible week of Sirius' life, even more than the time Remus had been mad at him after he'd sent Snape down the whomping willow.

Sirius had been missing Remus every second in the past week since the full moon, and couldn't stop thinking about how he could've prevented it. He was sure the reason for Remus' bad state was because he had to spend the night on his own, without his three animagus friends. If only they had joined him, nothing would've happened. But James insisted he couldn't come… Sirius should've argued more, maybe even force him to come against his will. But he hadn't, and now Remus was in that state.

What was he going to do if Remus wouldn't wake up? He couldn't live without him. And what would he do if Remus would wake up but wouldn't want to be Sirius' friend anymore after he'd left him alone on the shack? Maybe he'll remember all the things Sirius had told him the last time they talked, and wouldn't want to talk to Sirius ever again? But what if he won't wake up, and the last thing Sirius had ever said to him was that he wants to break up with him?

His last conversation with Remus echoed in his head and the only thing he could think about was the look Remus had sent him before Sirius had hugged him and walked away. He had looked guilty, but why? Why would Remus feel guilty after Sirius had broken up with him? If he'd been relieved, or sad, or confused, then Sirius would have understood. But the guilt in his eyes made Sirius wonder just what had been really going on the last past month…

_~Flashback~_

_"Hey, Moons, whatcha doin'?" Sirius sat beside Remus in the common room, closer than he would sit next to James or Peter._

_Remus raised his head from the book on his knees and smiled at him. "Reading."_

_"What are you reading?" Sirius leaned forward to examine the book, but took the chance to get even closer to his friend. With a bit of hesitation he put his arm over Remus' shoulder in a friendly gesture, and felt Remus leaning in to him. It felt good._

_"About the spell, __**switch**__," Remus replied and returned to look at the book. "Professor Flitwick said we're going to learn about it tomorrow, so I'm trying to be prepared."_

_Sirius chuckled, "Why do you need to be prepared? You know you'll do it better than all of us anyway."_

_Remus shrugged, making Sirius' arm move alongside his shoulders. They both laughed._

_On the next morning at their Spells lesson, Remus succeeded to cast the spell, just like Sirius had predicted._

_"Moony, can you explain it to me again? I don't think I understand the right way to hold the wand," Begged James for the fifth time that lesson._

_Remus sighed, lifted his wand and pointed it exactly between his book and quill pen. "It's not that hard," he said. "You just point your wand between the objects, lift it up, then lower it down and say the spell, 'switch'. There, watch," he lifted his wand, then lowered it down and yelled, "__**Switch**__!" The book and quill were gone for a second until they showed up, each in the other's place._

_James stared at them with wide eyes. "Wow," was all he managed to say._

_Peter, who sat beside Sirius on the desk behind them tried to cast the spell as well. "Switch!" he called, but the objects remained in their place. "Why can't I do it?" Sirius heard him murmuring in despair._

_But Sirius' attention was placed only at the boy who sat in front of him. His hair was so smooth, that it gave Sirius the need to run his fingers in it and to know how it feels. When he saw Peter looking at him, waiting for some sort of reply, he just mumbled, "I dunno, try again," and kept staring at Remus._

_"Switch!" called the fat boy again, but nothing happened. "I hate spells lessons."_

_"Yeah," Sirius agreed with him, "who doesn't?"_

_"I don't," said Remus from the desk in front of them, and sent them an arrogant smile. Merlin, how Sirius loved that smile. "Maybe if you'd have practiced some more you could have done it."_

_Sirius stuck out his tongue, remembering their conversation last night._

_"But I tried ten times!" Peter insisted, "And it's not working!" he waved his wand while shouting again and again, "Switch! Switch! __**Switch**__!" At that moment his wand was landed forward, then lifted upward, pointing exactly between James and Remus._

_At that moment happened something that scared Sirius. A soft 'poof' sound was heard, as if a magic had just been casted, and for a second the whole world froze. And then everything happened so fast, that Sirius couldn't catch on what was happening._

_James fell from his chair to the floor and seemed completely unconscious. Next to him, Remus' head dropped on the table, his eyes closed and a surprised expression on his face._

_Sirius got up from his seat, hurrying to help his two friends. "Remus, James!" he called, feeling the whole students' eyes on him. "Are you alright?"_

_He tried to shake them but they didn't respond._

_"Professor!" he called, looking up to see Professor Flitwick hurrying towards him. "Do something, they both fainted!"_

_~End of Flashback~_

Sirius wasn't sure why he remembered that day, but as soon as he remembered he started to notice a few things. It had been the last time he remembered Remus acting like himself. After that lesson, when James and Remus had gotten back from the infirmary, strange things started to happen.

_~Flashback~_

_Sirius sat next to Peter in the common room, tapping nervously with his foot. He didn't like the fact that Remus didn't wake up yet. It'd been more than an hour, what took him so long?_

_"I hope they'll be okay," said Peter quietly, sounding worried. "It's all my fault, if I just did better with that spell…"_

_"Don't worry," said Sirius and smiled, "I'm sure they're fine." At that moment the Fat Lady portrait moved and through the hole behind it entered Remus and James. Sirius felt relief washing over him. "Hey, Remus, James, over here!" he called them, and when they noticed Peter and him they started to walk towards them._

_"Hey, Padfoot, what's up?" said James. Sirius stared at him, since when did James say 'what's up'?_

_"Err, alright," he replied, confused, and turned to look at Remus. He looked paler than usual, but instead of his usually calming expression, he seemed tense. "Hey, Moony," Sirius said, hoping to calm his friend. He knew he could always calm him down, and that thought alone made him shook with joy. "How are you?" _

_But Remus didn't answer, just kept looking nervous. Sirius noticed James shoving his elbow in Remus' side, and Remus jumped in surprise. "Damn! Why the hell was that necessary?" _

_Sirius' eyes winded up in surprise. It didn't suit Remus to talk like that._

_"He asked you a question," he heard James whispering, and Remus forced a smile._

_"Oh, right," he said and looked back at Sirius. "I'm okay."_

_~End of Flashback~_

Sirius sighed and turned to look at the lake. Something was off with the whole thing, but he couldn't understand _what_. He felt like everything was spread in front of him on a plate of silver, but somehow his hands couldn't grasp it and it all fell and crashed on the floor.

What made Remus and James act so weird? Something about them was different, like they weren't themselves anymore. They weren't acting like themselves, they acted like…

"Sirius!"

A yell from the distance made him jump and he lost his string of thought. He turned around to see who'd called him and saw James running towards him. Sirius sighed, he really didn't want to talk right now, especially not with James.

"Sirius, I-" James arrived to him and fell on the ground beside him, breathing heavily. "I need to talk to you."

"Good for you," said Sirius, turning his back to him. "But I don't want to talk with anyone right now."

"Sirius, please!" James begged, "It's important!"

"I don't care."

"Sirius," James' voice softened. A few moments passed in silence, and suddenly Sirius felt a shaking hand on his shoulder. "You didn't speak to me for a week. You didn't speak to anyone for a week. I think-"

But Sirius didn't let him finish. He shook James' hand off of his shoulder and turned to face him, angry expression on his face. "I don't care what you think! Don't you get it? I don't want to talk to you! Damn, James, this is all your fault!"

James looked at him for a moment, his eyes shining with guilt, but then he looked away. "I know… I know it's my fault, and I'm sorry. But I need to talk to you. If you don't want to talk, fine, but at least listen to what I have to say."

Sirius was quiet for a while, considering if it was worth it to listen to James or not. At the end he decided it couldn't harm in any way.

"Talk."

"I- I think you've been acting stupid, Sirius."

"I already told you I don't care what you think."

"Sirius," James said again, his voice tougher this time, "you didn't eat, didn't sleep and didn't talk to anyone for a week! Until when are you're planning to go like that?"

Sirius glared at him, "until Moony wakes up."

James sighed and looked away again. "And what if… what if he'll never wake up?"

Sirius felt himself filling with rage he couldn't control. He wanted to hit James until he'll take what he'd said back, but stopped himself. "Don't _ever_ say that again."

James flinched, afraid of Sirius threatening tone. "Remus… Remus wouldn't want you to act like that."

"Remus would also want to be awake right now, but does it help him? No!" Sirius almost screamed. All the anger he'd been holding inside this whole week threatened to break free. He didn't really care he had to take it out on James, though.

James flinched even more. "Sirius, please…" he said weakly. "I'm sure he wouldn't want you to act like that because of him, he- he would've wanted you to move on with your life and not to let it r-ruin you. D-don't you care about that? Think about how he would have felt if he knew you barely ate this week."

Sirius sighed. No matter how much he hated to admit it, James was right. Remus really wouldn't want Sirius to act like that. He would blame himself and torture himself over thinking Sirius' suffering. But what could he do- smile and enjoy life while Remus lying unconscious in bed?

"I know it's hard, Sirius," James continued, "t-trust me. B-but you can't let it affect you like that."

Sirius sighed again and said nothing.

They sat in silence for a while, Sirius looking at his legs and James peeking at his hand-watch every few minutes. At the end it was James who broke the silence.

"Why did you break up with him?"

Sirius raised his gaze in surprise. How did James know about their break up? Sirius hadn't told him, and he doubted Remus had time before the full moon.

"How do you know about that?"

"Peter told me, he heard you guys talking in the common room."

"Oh," said Sirius. He really didn't want to talk about it. "He changed, haven't you notice? He wasn't acting like himself. And every time I talked to him just felt wrong… I thought it was because of me, that he stressed out, or that maybe it was all too fast for him. I preferred to be friends, as long as he'll get back to himself. But now…now it doesn't matter, is it? I just want him to be alright again."

"I understand," James said, and Sirius thought he heard relief in his voice. "You know, I'm sure Remus loves you a lot."

"I sure hope so," a little smile spread on his face, but erased immediately when he remembered Remus' pale and scarred face.

"He told me he does," James continued, "before the night of the full moon. He told me he loves you more than anything in this world."

"Really?"

"Yes. And he would do anything to… to be here with you, just one more time."

Sirius didn't know if Remus had really said all these things, or if James just said it to make him feel better, but either way, it worked. Remus loved him, and it was all he needed.

"Sirius?" said James, waking him from his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for this whole month. I know I've been acting kinda strange, and that I did some things I may not have done in another situation. But I want you to know that everything I've ever told you were real."

"It's alright, Prongs," said Sirius, smiling for the first time in a week. "I'm sorry too, for being such a jerk this week. Especially for yelling at you," he smiled in embarrassment, "and for what I said and did the day after the full moon. I know it's not only your fault, it's mine as-"

"No." James cut him. "It's not your fault. Not you're fault at all. The last person you can blame here is you. Don't forget that, Sirius, please. This isn't your fault."

"Anyway," said Sirius, "Can you forgive me?"

"Of course." They smiled at each other, and Sirius couldn't understand how he could even be mad at James. He was his best friend, Remus' as well. James probably had a rough week himself, and all Sirius did was yelling at him and blaming him all the time.

"If I asked you something, would you do it?"

"Sure, Prongs, you're my best friend. You know I'll do anything for you."

James smiled. "I need you to promise me you'll do it, no matter what I ask. It's probably going to be the last thing I'm ever going to ask of you."

Sirius raised his eyebrow at that, "Don't be so dramatic, James."

"I'm not kidding, Padfoot," said James, his face turning serious. "Do you promise?"

"Promise." said Sirius, and for a few moments none of them spoke.

"Kiss me."


	14. Chapter 13

_AN:_

_Okay so here's the last chapter for this fic! ;; I can't promise a sequel, though I'm working on it. But there will be an apilouge. It won't have anything to do with the sequel, so if you choose to read the apilouge just know that the sequel starts right from this chapter's ending. sort of... _

_This is even more confusing chapter than the last one, 'cause fron the middle of it, it's jumping from Sirius' POV to Remus' and then back to Sirius' and back to Remus'... so try to keep up._

_And just for you know, why I updated so soon, it's because all my friends are out of the country or at the army right now... and I'm bored... lucky I have Remus\sirius to write(:_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

_**Chapter 13**_

_sirius' point of view_

Sirius froze. Had James just said what he thought he had? Sirius blinked. He was sure he'd heard wrong. "What did you say?"

"Kiss me, Sirius. That's my last request from you."

Sirius started at him. "What?"

"It doesn't have to mean anything."

Sirius frowned. "James, I'm not-"

"Sirius, please," James almost begged, "it's my last request ever. After this, I'll never ask you for anything, I promise."

Sirius remembered a conversation they had which was very similar to that one, three weeks ago. "Actually, I remember you promised me that James Potter will never kiss Sirius Black ever again."

James ran his hand in his hair nervously. "I know I promised, but it was a long time ago. A lot of things changed."

"Right," Sirius agreed. He didn't understand how they'd come to talk about that subject at all. "Like the fact that I have a boyfriend-"

"An _ex_ boyfriend, who happen to be lying unconsciously in the Hospital Wing right now."

"James, I just can't, okay?"

James seemed crazy when he got closer to Sirius, too close. "Sirius, _please_. Think I'm someone else. Think I'm Remus, like then, when we did the role playing, remember? Think I'm Remus, and think of how much you love him and how much you miss him and how much you want him to wake up."

"What's going on with you, James? I thought you're in love with Lily," Sirius said while getting himself as fur away from James as he could. He didn't understand what was going on, and how the line of conversation changed that fast. But that behavior of James matched his theory that something was really wrong with James.

The messed hair boy ignored him and kept getting close, "just a moment ago you said you'll do anything for me. You promised you'll do as I ask!"

"I didn't know _that's_ what you're going to ask!"

"You- you'll regret it if you don't do it now," said James, and suddenly, out of nowhere, tears started to fill his eyes. Sirius stopped and stared. James… cries? "I- I don't want it to be your l-last memory of me… but, please, Sirius. You _must_."

_What? Last memory? What the hell is he walking about? _Thought Sirius while watching James trying to wipe his tears away. It didn't work and soon new tears fell from his eyes.

"P-please…" his voice was so broken, it made Sirius want to hug him. Crazy or not, James was still his best friend, and it hurt him to watch him suffer.

"You can't tell about this to anyone." The sentence came out of his mouth before he could realize what he was saying. But when he thought about it, he realized he'd made a decision, even though it disgusted and frightened him. It's not that James was ugly; he was quite attractive, after all the Quidditch training he had done. But James was like a brother to him, and it was just wrong.

James raised his gaze to meet Sirius', his eyes full of hope. "R-really?" he asked in choked voice.

Sirius looked at him, and found out that James didn't look like himself with tears in his eyes. He sighed and nodded once.

"But if I find out you told this to anyone, I'll make sure personally that you'll look like Snivellus for the rest of your life."

A restrained emotion shined in James' eyes, but Sirius couldn't put his finger in what it was. "Don't worry," he said, his voice flat. "I won't tell."

Sirius nodded and looked at James' eyes. He breathed deeply, closed his eyes and leaned forward, his lips meeting James'. It was an odd sensation, not as horrible as he thought, but also not good. He felt James shaking and almost pushed him away when he thought that it was James and that it was so wrong.

He tried to think about Remus. The old Remus, before he'd started to act weird and different from himself. Remus who loved to read, who always helped him and made sure he stayed at the right way.

He thought about Remus' smile. When Remus wasn't sure of himself, he had this shy and innocent smile that made Sirius love him from the first time he saw it. When Remus was happy he had this huge smile that made Sirius want to hug him and never to let go.

He thought about Remus' eyes, those beautiful amber eyes. Those eyes had been the thing Sirius wanted to see open most of all, and which he thought he couldn't live with them closed.

He thought about Remus' tawny soft hair, that had felt like silk when had stroked it in the Hospital Wing. He thought about how much he wanted to see this hair again, falling gracefully on Remus' forehead.

He thought about Remus' soft voice, which was usually calming and peaceful, and always said the right thing to make Sirius smile.

He thought about Remus' lips, which were so red and full and felt so right against his own lips. He had been longing for those lips for so long.

Without him noticing, he deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around the body tight to him. His mind swept away to fur placed where he and Remus were alone, and he didn't need anything except for him.

Shaking and desperate fingers reached for his hair and Sirius drew the body even closer.

With his eyes still closed Sirius broke the kiss, leaning his forehead on the one in front of him.

"Remus…" he whispered.

"Sirius, I love you."

Sirius eyes opened wide in shock. That wasn't Remus' voice, it was James'. What was he thinking! That wasn't Remus who had kissed him! Remus lay in the Hospital Wing, barely breathing, and Sirius does and cheats on him with James?

"James, I don't… I love Remus."

James opened his eyes slowly and turned to look at him, a small smile on his lips. "I know. Thank you, Sirius, for doing this for me."

They looked at each other, and Sirius hurried to look away. He'd never felt so embarrassed in his entire life.

"I need to go," mumbled James, and Sirius nodded. "I- I love you, Sirius," he said again, and Sirius felt like throwing up. "Don't forget it." He took out a crumpled parchment from his robe and gave it to Sirius, who looked at him, confusion written all over his face. "Read this," James explained. "After you'll read it, you'll understand everything."

Sirius took it and saw that on one side of it was written 'to Sirius', and on the other side, 'from Remus'. It was written in Remus' thick handwriting.

"What?" he asked, confused, but James was already on his legs and starting to walk away from him.

"I love you, Sirius!" he called for the third time. "Just read it and you'll understand!"

"Wait, James!" Sirius called after him, but James was too fur away. He sighed, looked at the peace of parchment in his hand, then opened it and began to read.

* * *

_Remus' point of view_

Remus entered the castle, running towards the Hospital Wing. Luckily for him, he didn't bump into any student, everyone were still at class. He had to make it in time, before Sirius would have time to realize what had been going on… without noticing his hand reached to his lips and met with a huge smile. Sirius had kissed him! It had been the greatest feeling in the world, and a sudden pain attacked him when he realized he might never feel it again. The world probably hated him, if he had to leave it when his life had finally started to become happy.

When he arrived to the Hospital Wing the first thing he heard was Madam Pomfrey's worried voice, "Remus, you're here! What took you so long?" and then he felt strong hands wrapping around him in a tight hug, and he smelled the familiar scent he'd missed so much. It had only been two months, but two months could be a long time to miss someone.

"Dad…" he mumbled, hugging him tighter.

"Remus," said the calming voice of his father, and Remus already felt better.

He smiled and felt tears beginning to appear at the frame of his eyes. He hurried to wipe them and turned to look at his father.

"Remus, I'm so happy to see you."

"Me, too, Dad," said Remus, while they both sat beside James' bed. Remus tried not to look at his face.

"It's a bit weird to talk to you when you look like that, even though I know it's really you in there," his Dad said. He smiled at him and stroked his black hair in fondness. "Your friend's body is quite alright. But I always prefer the original. Don't forget you've got my genes."

Remus chuckled, feeling the tears running down his cheeks.

* * *

_Sirius' point of view_

_**"Sirius,**_

_**I don't know where to begin… I guess I should start at the beginning. What you're about to read now is going to sound very weird. If you don't believe me you can ask James, Professor Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey or any other teacher."**_

Sirius stared at the peace of parchment in his hand, hypnotized. It really was Remus' handwriting. But when had Remus written this? And why had it been at James'?

* * *

_Remus' point of view_

"I'm so proud of you, son."

John Lupin held a small bottle of potion in his hand, filled with green liquid. Remus himself couldn't hold it without his hands starting to shake. "Not any one could have done what you're about to do. It's very brave of you."

Remus smiled and nodded. He didn't know if he believed it or not, but hearing it from his Dad cheered him up a bit.

* * *

_Sirius' point of view_

_**"Do you remember the Spell lesson we had about a month ago, when Wormtail did the spell wrong and hit me and James instead? We told you there were no side-effects. That was a lie. There was one side-effect; James and I switched bodies. I was in his body and he was in mine. Dumbledore made us swear not to tell anyone, he didn't want to make the other students more stressed than they already were, what with the whole N.E.W.T examinations this year. I'm sorry we didn't tell you. I wanted to tell you so badly, but I couldn't."**_

Sirius stared at it, couldn't focus. What did Remus said? He and James… switched bodies? What… what?

_

* * *

_

Remus' point of view

"I have to do it, Dad," said Remus, his voice shaking more than ever. "It's my fault James is in this state. The wolf is a part of me, and he was the one who hurt him."

"No," his father said firmly. "This isn't you're fault, Remus. You can't control what the wolf does, and you know it." He hugged Remus again, and Remus hugged back. "This isn't your fault."

_

* * *

_

Sirius' point of view

_**"I guess now things starting to make sense. When James kissed you by the lake, it was me. When James fell from his broom, it was me. I went out with Lily, I woke up from a nightmare before the full moon, not James. **_

_**James is the one lying in the Hospital Wing right now, in my body. 'Right now' means when I'm writing this letter, not while you're reading it. If everything will go according to plan, I'll be the one lying in bed right now, and not James. Please don't be mad at him, he didn't do anything wrong. I know you blame everything on him, but it wasn't his fault at all. It was mine. U was the one who didn't want to come to the shack at the full moon. I wanted to come that night, I wanted to be there for him, but I was so scared. Not only for me, but mostly for James. I wasn't sure if I could hold on the whole night as Prongs, and I didn't want to take the risk of the wolf biting him."**_

Something started to click in Sirius' brain. During the whole past month, James had been Remus, and Remus had been James. That had been the reason why they'd been acting so strange. They hadn't been acting like themselves; each of them had been acting like the other!

Sirius read those two paragraphs again, and started to remember all the things that had happened that month. Remus had kissed him! Not James! It had been Remus!

But most importantly- Remus was still alive! Remus was inside James' body, he wasn't going to die!

_

* * *

_

Remus' point of view

"I'm sorry, Dad," mumbled Remus into the coat of his Dad. "I'm so sorry."

"You've nothing to be sorry for, Remus, this isn't your fault."

Remus shook his head, "not, not just that. I'm sorry I'm leaving you. I know a-after Mum died you didn't-"

"Remus," his father said and put his hand on his son's shoulder. "This is not your fault, okay? You don't need to apologize for anything. I'll be fine, and so will you. You'll see, you'll make it and everything's going to be all right."

_

* * *

_

_Sirius' point of view_

_**"You see, this month my condition was so bad because the wolf sensed a stranger in its body. Or at least, that's what Madam Pomfrey says. There's a potion that can save who's lying in the Infirmary right now. This potion is the Unspells potion that was supposed to get me and James back to our own bodies. It takes a month to make it, and that's why we didn't return to our bodied the day Peter did the spell wrong. The potion is ready today. And I'm going to drink it. That's why I didn't tell you about everything that happened, because I know that if you'll know the true you won't let me drink it, and I have to. This it all my fault, I have to save James."**_

Once again Sirius stared at the words, confused. Potion? What potion? He read the lined again, trying to understand what they meant. Remus is going to drink some potion that will bring him back to his body and James to his. What is that mean?

_

* * *

_

Remus' point of view

"Your Mum would be so proud of you," his father said and smiled. He looked at his son and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Don't cry, Remus. Everything's going to be fine. I love you so much."

"Me, too," said Remus, crying harder without being able to stop.

Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat behind them, and they turned around to look at her.

"I think it's time."

_

* * *

_

Sirius' point of view

_**"Please don't be mad at me. I didn't want to lie, but I didn't have a choice. There was only one thing kept me going this month, and it was you. Because of what you told me I could keep pretending to be James in hope this month will end and I could get back to my body. You only told me this line once, even though you didn't mean me at the time, but indirectly. But I wanted to say it back- I love you. I love you so much, and I wish I could tell you this many more times.**_

_**I don't know if I'm going to die or not. Madam Pomfrey doesn't thinks so, but I'm not so sure. So I wanted to ask you something, before I'll finish this letter; if something happens to me, and I won't make it, please don't let it destroy you. You still have Prongs and Wormtail and Even Lily. Don't be too depressed. Please, that's my last request, and this time for real. Move on with your life, be happy and laugh and stay the Sirius I learned to love.**_

_**I'm so sorry, for everything. And thank you for everything you ever did for me.**_

_**I love you,**_

_**Moony."**_

Sirius finished reading the letter, and then read it again and again until he finally understood. Remus was going to drink a potion that will return him to his body! It means he will stay in his wounded body, and once again might not wake up! Sirius couldn't let it happen! Even if Remus had to drink that potion, whatever it was, in order to save James, Sirius could at least say goodbye properly, and tell him how much he loved him and how sorry he was. He could hug him and tell him everything was going to be all right.

Then something crossed his mind; Remus had said something about 'last memory'… it meant he was about to drink the potion now, before Sirius could talk to him again!

Sirius couldn't let it happen! He stuck the letter in his pocket, got up and started to run towards the castle.

_

* * *

_

Remus' point of view

"T-tell James that I'm s-sorry," Remus stuttered, barely able to talk because of the tears.

"You can tell him yourself when you wake up," his father said and passed him the bottle. In shaking hands Remus grabbed it, looking at the potion that was about to set the rest of his life.

Madam Pomfrey held a similar bottle and stood by James' bed. "Both of you need to drink it at the same time, otherwise its effect won't work."

Remus nodded.

"Ready?"

Remus took a deep breath and nodded again. He felt his Dad putting his hand on his shoulder, and was glad that at least he wasn't alone.

"One." Said the nurse, and Remus brought the bottle closer to his lips.

"Two."

Remus thought about all the people he loved and cared about, and everything they had ever did for him, and of how much he wanted to stay with them longer.

"Three."

Remus thought of Sirius, raised the bottle and drank the potion, looking for the last time at his figure on the bed, unconscious and limped.

And then, just like a month ago, he felt a strong pull of his waist, and his eyes started to close. The last thing he saw was the infirmary's door being open and a yell echoed in the room. He couldn't recognize the voice, though. Soon darkness took over and he fell into deep sleep.

_

* * *

_

Sirius' point of view

"REMUS!"

Sirius burst into the Hospital Wing, just in time to see James' body falling on his knees, supported by Mr. Lupin, Remus' father. Near one of the bed stood Madam Pomfrey, a small and empty bottle in her hand. On the bed beside her lay Remus' body, looking exactly like the last time Sirius had seen it, about two hours before.

Sirius looked at James. Did Remus still been there? Or was he too late?

"He- is he…" he tried, and raised his eyes to the nurse in hope.

"I', sorry, Mr. Black," she said, her voice full of agony, "You're too late. They already drank the potion."

At that moment Mr. Lupin stood up in surprise and looked at the body lying at his feet. He twisted and struggled, and then at once his eyes opened. Sirius stared at him, fascinated, while he lifted himself up on his hands and looked around him. When his eyes met Sirius' he smiled. "Hey, Padfoot."

Sirius fame closer and fell on his knees beside him, looking into his hazel eyes. "Remus?" he asked weakly.

The boy stared at him for a minute, then raised his hand to touch the glasses on his nose. He turned to look at Sirius. "No, apparently I'm back in my body. Isn't it supposed to happen only next week?"

At that moment Sirius' heart broke.


	15. Epilogue

AN: So, after almost a year, here's the Epilogue for Another Point Of View. I don't think I'll continue the siquel, but who knows... antway, thanks for everyone for the reviews, it really meant a lot to me to know you loved my Fic. I hope you'll enjoy reading this as well as the rest of the Fic. So.. Enjoy (:

oh, and don't forget that my english isn't very well, still... cause I'm from Israel and stuff... you know... well, nevermind. just don't judge me.

**Epilogue**

"Lily, we need to talk." Lily raised her eyes from the book she's been reading, and met the eyes of one James Potter. It was Thursday's evening, and she'd just meant to finish reading and get ready to bed. She was so tired; she could have barely fall asleep that week. She couldn't stop thinking about poor Remus who laid in the Infirmary. She knew no one was allowed in the Hospital Wing but she had seen Sirius sneaking in more then once. She thought she knew what it had been all about, and what had really been Remus' 'sickness', but she wasn't sure.

Lily sighed and closed the book. "James, I'm a little tired. Can we talk about it in the morning?" she asked. Since their double date with Remus and Sirius, Lily and James got closer. But during the week Remus had been in the Hospital Wing they had drifted apart. She didn't know what to think about James. For years he'd been trying to impress her, and for years she'd been avoiding him, but then all of the sudden he had changed. He became generous, considerate and polite. He'd seemed smarter than usual and he'd listened to what she'd said, instead of just trying to ask her out all the time.

"No, it's important." James grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the boys dormitory, but she stopped him.

"James, I'm not going up there with you."

James frowned and looked at her straight in the eye, "I'm not going to try to do anything. I swear. I just want to talk. Sirius is in the Hospital Wing with Remus, and Peter's asleep. I'll leave the door open and you can sit as far away from me as you want."

He seemed serious and she believed him. "Alright. But if you'll do anything I'll stop going out with you." She knew he wouldn't want to risk it.

But James' smile seemed sad and he said quietly, "I think it's going to happen anyway."

Lily followed him upstairs until they reached the seventh years' dormitory. When they got in Lily sat on Remus' unused bed, and James sat on his own, after leaving the door partially open, as he'd promised.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"You already know I love you," he said, and Lily felt herself shivering. He'd said it many times before, but now the sentence got a whole new meaning. "I'm probably going to do the most stupid mistake I could ever make, and lose any chance I ever had with you forever, but you deserve to know the truth."

Lily looked at him, confused, but James went on.

"During the week- two weeks we've been dating… I wasn't myself."

"Yeah, I've noticed." She agreed. "You really changed this year. I think it's for the best.

James shook his head, "No, that's not what I meant. I wasn't myself, it wasn't me… it's hard to explain." He ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Do you remember one Charms lesson we had about a month ago? The one when we learned about the Switch spell?" Lily nodded and James continued, "I don't know if you remember, but in that lesson Peter sat behind me and Remus and while he was trying to cast the spell, he accidently hit us."

Lily nodded again," I remember. They took you to the Hospital Wing, and you missed one lesson after that. But then you got back to the Common Room and everything was fine, wasn't it?"

"Yeah… not really."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, 'not really'? Does this have anything to do with Remus being sick?"

"Um, sort of, yeah…" replied James, and ran his hand through his hair again. "What happened is that the spell made me and Remus switch bodies, I was inside his body and he was inside mine. That's why you thought I changed, but I didn't, really. You were just going out with Remus, not with me." His gaze wandered to the floor, away from her eyes.

"What?" Lily looked at him, doubt in her voice. "Are you serious? Or is it just another one of your stupid jokes?"

"No, I mean it. Professor Dumbledore swore us not to tell anyone. I agreed to help Remus with Sirius, and in return he said he would try to make you go out with him… I mean, with me. Turned out he was better in being me than me, if he succeeded to convince you."

Lily kept looking at James, not sure what to think. The fact that Remus was the one she'd been dating all this time explained a lot of things, like why James'd been acting so strange for the last past month. But Remus was her best friend, and she never felt anything towards him beside deep friendship. Who she really wanted was James. It took her a long time to admit it to herself, but in the summer before their last year she'd finally accepted her feelings.

When James- no, Remus- had asked her out two weeks ago in the Library she'd said yes because she thought he'd finally got matured.

"I'm really sorry I lied to you," James said and woke Lily out of her thought. "I just wanted… wanted a chance to get close to you and show you who I really am. I know we never really spoke before, but I have changed since our third year and you wouldn't have let me a chance any other way. I planed to keep lying even after I got back to my body, but then I realized that it wouldn't be fair of me to do this to you. I don't want to be with you unless it's me you're really wanted to be with, James Potter, and not Remus."

Lily didn't know what to say, so she just sat there in silence and let James talk.

"I'm not sure if you know, but Remus isn't really sick. It was just a side effect of the spell, sort of. He could choose to stay in my body and save himself, but he chose to return to his own body and save me… I don't think I ever appreciated him enough. And now I can't tell him, because I don't know if he's going to wake up. I realized that if I have something to say, I should say it right away, because maybe later it would be too late. That's why I had to tell you the truth."

James looked away and wiped his face with his sleeve. When he did that, Lily's eyes got wider with surprise. James was crying.

"What if he'll never wake up? He sacrificed his life for me, and I… I can't even thank him. It's not fair, I was supposed to die, not him."

"James…" Lily murmured. She got up and sat beside him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure he'll wake up. It's Remus, he's strong. I know he can make it."

James shook his head, "You should have seen him… his whole face are full with wounds, and his stomach is ripped apart. And he has a big cut in his head."

Lily felt sick at the description. She didn't want to think about Remus in that condition. But still, something bothered her. "How did it happen? It can't be the spell; otherwise you would have had the same reaction."

James looked at her through shining eyes. "I can't talk about it. It's not my secret to tell."

She bit her lips and asked in concern, "Is it because of Remus being a werewolf?"

"What-" James stared at her, surprised, "How-?"

"So it's true," she sighed. "I suspected it for a while now, ever since Remus and I became good friends. He kept disappearing at the strangest times, and his excuses didn't fit together. But I never had the courage to ask him about it."

James stared at her, his face unreadable. "Yes, it's true. On the last night of the full moon I… I had to be the wolf instead of Remus." A shiver passed through him.

"For how long do you know about him?" Lily asked, trying to change the subject and make James to stop thinking about that night.

"Since second year," he said, "we noticed his disappearances and after we checked the dates we found out he always went when it was a full moon. We told him we know, and even though he thought we wouldn't want to be his friends anymore, our friendship only got stronger."

Despite all the pain she held, Lily felt a strong attraction towards the boy who sat beside her. He was different, but still similar to the one she remembered from only a month ago. It had been very humane and mature from James to accept his friend as he was; despite of all the things he was told from youth.

And besides, he was considerate enough to tell her the truth instead of using the fact that she had agreed to go out with him without knowing it hadn't really been him.

"Anyway," said James and wiped his tears again. "I think I better check on Sirius now. His not doing so well at the moment…" he stood up and went for the door, but before he reached it he turned around and looked at her. "Thanks for listening. You can go back to hating me now, if you like."

"Wait a second, James!" she stood up and approached him, placing her hands around his neck. James looked at her straight in her green eyes. "I- I think I'm going to give you another chance, if… if you still want one."

His eyes winded in shock, and for a few moments he just stared at her, not breathing a word. In the meanwhile Lily used his silence to get even closer to him, and kissed his lipped tenderly.

"So, what do you say?" she asked, and James' smile finally got back to him.

"I say," he said and pulled her closer, "Will you go to Hogsmeade with me next month?"

* * *

It had been a week since Sirius found out the truth, but Remus still hadn't woke up. His condition got better, his wounds on his face started to heal, and the cut on his head looked a lot better than it had two weeks ago, when he'd only entered the Hospital Wing.

Sirius sat by his bed at any possible moment he had; between his classes, after short walks to the kitchen and till the nurse drove him out late at night.

The possibility that Remus might never wake up didn't even crossed his mind. He couldn't think about living without Remus, not after he'd found out Remus had really loved him.

"Moony," he kept whispering to him at night. He wanted to believe that Remus could hear him, even if he couldn't reply. "Moony, wake up, please. It's been two weeks since I last saw your eyes, two weeks since I last heard your voice… please, wake up."

Even though he believed Remus will wake up, he was afraid. In a few more weeks it was going to be the full moon again, and Sirius didn't know if Remus would be able to make it. The transformation might make his wounds worse and that couldn't be good.

"Remus, you have to wake up," he stroked his lover's pale face. "Please, before the next full moon. You have to get better before you'll have to turn into a wolf again."

He returned to eat again, after a whole week of barley toughing his food, because he knew Remus wouldn't want him to stop living his life. He and James had made up (Sirius just hadn't told him about the punch he'd given him, and James hadn't asked), and Peter had got all the details he'd been missing from the story. The three of then was concern about Remus, but Sirius was the one who sat by his bed on Saturday night, two weeks since the full moon.

It was late, and Sirius leaned on Remus' mattress, looking at the fainted boy. His chest moved up and down steadily. The moon light came through the window and lighted his face, and Sirius thought of how beautiful he looked, and how lucky he was that Remus loved him.

Slowly his head sank onto the mattress, until he fell to a deep sleep.

In his dream he stood in a long and dark corridor. He started to walk towards a weak light at the end of the corridor. When he finally reached the end, he found himself in a small room. In the middle of it, he saw two figures. One of them was tall with muscular body. His hair was short and red. The other one had short hair as well, dark as the night, but he was shorter than the first.

Sirius noticed they both stood very close, and after a longer look he realized they were in the middle of a kiss. After a few moments they broke apart, and the shorter one, who stood with his back to Sirius, stroked the other man's cheek fondly.

"I'm so glad you agreed to go out with me, Sirius," said the tall one, and Sirius took a step back when he finally realized the black haired guy was in fact himself.

"I love you," said the man with Sirius' voice, and the two started to kiss again.

Sirius stared at them, not quit understanding what was going on, when a voice made him jump and turn around.

"Sirius."

The corridor vanished and instead he found himself on some kind of a roof.

"Sirius." said a familiar voice. Sirius couldn't connect the voice to a name.

Another figure started to form in front of him. It was a boy with tawny hair and shining amber eyes. "Sirius, what are you doing here?"

Sirius looked at Remus, who stared back at him.

"I don't need you anymore, Sirius," said Remus, and took a step back. "You lied to me, you played with me! How could you!" he took another step back, which made him reach the end of the roof. Just one more step and he would fall… "You don't care about me at all. Goodbye, Sirius." And before Sirius could do anything, Remus fell back and disappeared from his sight.

"S-Sirius…"

"No!" Sirius ran forward and fell on his knees on the edge of the roof. He looked down but all he could see was blackness.

"Sirius-"

"Remus!" he called, searching for his friend, but for no vain.

"Sirius- I-"

"Remus! Remus, where are you?"

"Sirius!"

Someone shook him and made him open his eyes in panic. He still sat on the dark Hospital Wing, his face between his hands on the mattress. He raised his head and found himself staring at big eyes that looked back at him with concern. "Sirius, are you alright? You kept screaming like you were crazy or something…"

Sirius' mouth dropped. He didn't know what to say. Even if he had, he wouldn't have been able to talk anyway. "R-remus?"

"No, Santa Clause," the boy on the bed grinned at him.

For a few more seconds Sirius kept staring at him, not sure if he was still dreaming or not. He decided to pinch himself to find out if he was awake. That what people usually did in the storied Remus had used to read to him. So he pinched his arm strong and was shocked when he felt the pain. "Ow!"

The boy in front of him started laughing until he nearly choked himself. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make sure I'm not dreaming." Said Sirius, and touched Remus' arm gently. It was freezing, and Remus shivered when he felt Sirius' warmth. "You're freezing. Can I get you another blanket?"

Remus shook his head, "No, it's okay."

They sat in silence for a few long moments, and Sirius tried to decide if it was hallucination or if it was real. For two weeks all he could think about was talking to Remus again, and now when he finally got the chance, he didn't know what to say.

Remus looked at him, a stressed smile on his face, and Sirius wondered what he was thinking about. It must have been weird for him, waking up inside his own body again, after spending an entire month in James'.

Remus looked down, on Sirius' hand on his own. Sirius hurried to pull his hand back.

"No, don't-" Remus said, but stopped after Sirius' next action.

Sirius wrapped his hands around Remus' shaking body on the bed, pulling him into a hug. He felt Remus buried his head in the curve of his neck.

"You're awake," mumbled Sirius, and felt Remus' fragile hands gripping the back of his shirt. "I missed you so much." He let out a sigh and felt relief washing all of his worries away. Remus was fine, it was over.

"You're not mad?" Remus asked, almost whispering.

Sirius distanced himself so he could look Remus in the eyes. "How can I be mad at you? You were willing to give up your life to save James."

"But I lied to you."

"I don't care," said Sirius. "The only thing that matters to me is that you're okay now. Aren't you mad at me?"

Remus frowned in confusion. "Why would I be mad at you?"

Sirius looked away, biting his lower lip, "I wasn't very nice to you the week after the full moon."

Remus smiled and put his hand on Sirius' cheek. "Forget about it."

"Moony, I have something important to tell you," Sirius smiled as well now.

"Really? What is it?" Remus asked, trying to sound curious, but Sirius could hear a trace of fear in his voice.

"It's something very important," he kept going, and winked at his still confused friend. "It's something I've wanted to tell you for a very long time now." He stopped for a moment, to examine Remus' face. He looked so much better than a week ago. You could already see his soft skin and the few left wounds looked like his regular ones from after a full moon. Sirius looked at this face and knew that what he was about to say was real, and that he couldn't feel that way for no one else. He held Remus' hand in his own, like he had done in each day in the last couple of weeks, and smiled at him. "I love you."

Remus' breath seemed to be taken out of him, and he stared at Sirius with no ability to talk.

Sirius squeezed his hand and continued, "I want to be with you. Any way I can. You're everything to me, even if I'm nothing to you. I want to be there for you when you'll need me. I want to make you happy. I don't want you to ever be alone again. I want you to smile, and if you'll cry I want to wipe your tears away, and make sure you'll never cry again. I want to help you on full moons, and I promise you, Moony, that I will never let you go through with it alone again."

When he finished his speech, he turned to look at Remus' eyes. They were shining and several tears started to run down his cheeks. Sirius reached out his hand and wipes them away from his face. He waited for Remus' respond, and it weren't late to come.

"I- I w-want all these things t-too." Remus murmured, shaking, and Sirius' smile grew wider. He leaned forward and without looking away he pulled Remus' face closer.

"I love you so much."

"Me too," whispered Remus and a second later their lips met in a kiss. Sirius felt electric current flow through him, waking up every part of his body.

The kiss didn't last for long, since a few moments later Remus started to cough and had to break away from Sirius to breath. Sirius almost forgot that Remus' body still hadn't fully recovered yet, and he still needed to rest.

He smiled at his lover and knew that from now on, everything was going to be fine. "Our first kiss," he said with joy, which he hadn't felt for a very long time.

Remus laughed and shook his head, "well, actually, I already kissed you twice."

Sirius laughed to, and slid his hand into Remus'. "I rather think about this kiss as our first, and not about me kissing James, if you don't mind."

**FIN.**


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